


Void

by cffn



Category: GOT7
Genre: Eventual Romance, Friends to Lovers, M/M, markson, scifi markson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:08:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 34,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28748982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cffn/pseuds/cffn
Summary: Space, the final frontier.These are the voyages of the spaceship Phoenix. Its continuing mission; to seek out remote planets, to boldly dive into the unknown.Mark meets Jackson in space, feelings and adventures follow.
Relationships: Mark Tuan/Jackson Wang
Comments: 85
Kudos: 57





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever attempt at writing anything scifi so please be merciful.  
> Other than that, this is a mishmash of every scifi book, series or movies I've seen or read.. Definitely can feel the precense of Star Trek, obviously, and then there's some vibes from Riddick universe. 
> 
> Ah, I hope you enjoy this! It's not going to be too long, but I wanted to break it into shorter chapters just for fun.
> 
> Thank you for reading!

_November 12th, year 4152. Deep space_

“Mark, where are you? We have to go like,” Bambam glanced at the screen on his arm, “ten minutes ago,”

Mark looked up from the sink, wiping the steam from the mirror to see a reflection of himself. Dark hair falling on his forehead, messy because he had just run wet hands through it, his eyes brown, almond shaped and his lashes dark, glued together with water. He was pale, his lips pink and he knew he was supposed to increase the amount of protein in his diet but for some reason he had no particular wish to do that. Working out was dull, his days -if you could count being in the absolute void of space as days- were quiet and repetitive.

“Mark!” Bambam banged the bathroom door, the sound metallic, indicating Bambam had his full armour on him. “I’m going,” Mark could hear the irritation in his voice. “If you’re coming you’d better hurry. We’re supposed to meet the kids down on the surface at 0800 hours.”

Mark heard the retreating steps outside his quarters and sighed. 

He didn’t really feel like going but he was a dutiful person and doing his job wasn’t exactly that dull. There were definite perks about it which mostly were the reason why he had chosen to take this job.

The armour, or a space suit to be exact, was light as a feather when he stepped into the cubicle and the machine whirred into action, the bits and pieces of metal attaching itself around him, providing shelter to him in the harshness of the space he would soon step into. 

“Thanks,” Mark muttered automatically, like he always did when the machine stopped moving and he stepped off the pad he had been standing throughout the process.

“ _You are welcome_ ,” the computer replied and Mark snorted gently. He had programmed the damn thing to respond to him out of boredom but now he was seriously considering turning it off because sometimes it was too artificial for his taste to be amusing.

Mark shook his head and took his helmet and marched out of the room. Going on a mission was a good thing, he would eventually go mad with boredom anyway, though it never hurt to sleep more.

Bambam was standing at the shuttle bay on the third floor of their ship, his helmet discarded on the floor and his eyes glued on the screen on his forearm. He looked up when Mark entered and sighed in relief.

“Finally,” Bambam said, swiping his finger up and the electronic glow disappeared from the screen. “I was worried, man,” he looked at Mark with concern written all over his face. “You ok?”

“I’m fine,” Mark flashed a wry smile.

“You know you can talk to me anytime,”

“Yeah, I know,” Mark looked away, staring at the monitor on his arm instead but not really seeing anything. What could he say? That he was bored and wanted to have a little change in his life? If that didn't sound idiotic then nothing did.

Bambam raised one brow but said nothing more. Mark watched the younger man turning again, lifting his helmet from the floor and pulling it over his purple coloured hair, the few slim braids knotted at the back of his head so they would fit inside the helmet. Mark pulled on his own helmet and closed his eyes when the screen in front of him flashed a few times before everything came clear. 

“Can you hear me?” Mark said out loud, testing the communications. He never got used to the echoing sound of his own voice. It was weird and he had always, ever since his days at the Academy, felt there was room for improvement in this area. But then again, no one had done anything about the communications technology in the past fifteen years so maybe he was hoping in vain.

“Yeah, loud and clear,” Bambam replied, already walking towards the hatch they were soon going to launch themselves out of. Mark halted next to Bambam and stared out of the small window, out into the nothingness, the darkness so deep you never got used to it. “Ready?”

“Let’s do this,”

The sound of the hatch opening was like letting air out of a bag mixed with a teapot screaming the water was boiling; a soft, high pitched hissing scream so loud it would have hurt their ears had the helmet not been there to dampen the sound. 

The space engulfed them as they shot off of the airlock, the armour around them a shell that kept them alive, the absolute silence surrounding them, the movement hard to realise in this void where everything moved so slow and yet so fast because distances couldn't be measured by meters or miles or anything as insufficient.

Mark’s heart was hammering, the adrenaline was pumping through his veins and he realised he was smiling. He loved this, this daredevil moment when nothing was certain, when everything could go so horribly wrong. His suit could break, he could hit a passing bit of debris or a rock, his helmet could break, his oxygen tank could empty, he could remain stationary in the darkness, conscious for about 30 seconds before he would die. 

Sometimes, when they were traveling down to some planet, Mark imagined he would be floating in the vacuum of space, certain of his death, and how someone, somehow, would come and rescue him. But he knew there was no one else in here, just he and his fellow officers. No alien race had yet come to see them and perhaps that was a good thing, they weren't equipped to deal with new encounters anyway.

“Have you heard?” Bambam’s voice echoed suddenly inside the helmet and Mark realised he had been daydreaming again.

“What?”

“There’s a new commander coming in,”

“A new commander? What do you mean?” Mark turned his whole torso to look at Bambam, which was a mistake and he realised it the second he felt a violent tug at his feet.

“Watch it!” Bambam yelled, managing to reach out and tuck Mark back on his track. The suit had coordinates it was following so it knew where it was going, but a single sudden movement could cause a failure to get to the end. Minor details they were still fixing about the suits, and yet they were here, risking their lives for the sake of others. What did it matter if the armour wasn’t at its full potential yet? They were just officers and scientists, dumped in the space to find planets they could use for their own needs.

“Fuck,” Mark muttered, his visions of dying in space almost coming true. “Thanks,” he straightened his form, trying to keep himself from wanting to curl up and vomit out of sheer fright. 

“Focus, man,” Bambam snapped.

“Stop giving me bad news in the middle of going down to a fucking planet. You know the suit only can take so much,”

“Sorry,” Bambam seemed to grimace, it was hard to decipher facial expressions in here. “I just wanted to tell you before I forget. But I’ll wait until we get down. Nearly there anyway.

Mark bit hard on his lip, too hard in fact, and he could taste the iron bursting on his tongue but he didn’t care. A new commander? Fuck. He hadn’t expected that. Lauren was supposed to give a promotion to either him or Bambam but to drag a new officer from, well who knew where he was coming from but Mark guessed from Earth II, the safety of the headquarters. This wasn’t the sort of place a rookie commander was supposed to be placed. This was the back end of the fucking space, the shitty wild wild west where there was nothing but planets to explore.

His feet hit the ground exactly the same time as Bambam’s, a cloud of gray dust rising from the dry earth. 

“So? What’s with the news?” Mark turned to Bambam as they walked towards the meeting point, not removing the helmets. The air was breathable but the dust clouds were so thick it was more sensible to keep them on. And this way they saw the navigation and could walk ahead without halting to consult the arm console for information.

“They’re bringing in someone from the Exodus, you know, the ship that went missing for three years and then was saved by some miracle in the Alpha quadrant,” Bambam stumbled on the rocky ground, almost losing his balance. “Damn this sandstorm,” he cursed. “It nevers ends, does it.”

“Exodus?” Mark repeated, confused. He’d heard the stories. Who hadn't? A starship exploring what was left of the Alpha quadrant, trying to find something, anything, or anyone from there, only to have gone missing one day. “So, it’s not some rookie officer from headquarters who hasn't seen anything,”

“Nah, man,” Bambam shrugged. “It’s definitely going to be someone older who outranks us both by a mile in experience,” he sighed. “There goes the promotion. Not that I would have gotten it anyway, it was always meant to be you,”

“Mm,” Mark made no other sound, just kept walking ahead. He knew the promotion had been almost a certain thing but to have someone with tons of experience to join their crew? Of course that was invaluable for their mission, he understood that, but it didn’t stop him from feeling salty for not getting something he had been expecting for the past two years now.

“Guys! Come on over!” A cheerful female voice rang through the comm and Mark squinted ahead. He could see two human figures at the mouth of the valley ahead and nudged Bambam so they would pick up the pace.

“Ensign,” Mark nodded at the young woman who had called them over. “Good news?”

“Definitely! Come on in, you’re going to love this,” Tess was the latest addition to their six member crew, or seven, once the newly appointed commander would join them, an ensign yet unsure what she was going to be specializing in. She wasn’t the brightest of the bunch, but she was working hard and that usually made a difference.

Mark and Bambam followed her into the greenhouse erected there at the edge of the desert, at the shelter of a valley with high rock walls giving the bottom enough cover so the wind didn’t reach them. Bright lights flared down on them the moment they were fully inside the building, the air cleared up, their eyes suddenly full of colour and different shades. Mark took off his helmet, inhaling the sweet, fragrant and moist air.

“I take it the crop is doing well?”

“Yes, sir! It’s all growing well, I expect this is the best one yet.”

“I’ll have good news to send in for once,” Mark was genuinely glad to see the vegetation growing so fully. Who would have guessed this remote little planet would provide such an excellent ground for farming? Of course they needed the greenhouses to shield the crops from the sandstorms that never really ceased on this planet, but it was worth the trouble when the results were this generous.

Mark walked further in, stopping here and there to examine various plants and vegetables. 

“Do you remember the last time you ate something organic?” he asked, knowing that Bambam had followed him.

“My mother made something a few years back, but then the latest winter destroyed the ground,” Bambam knelt in front of a huge green bush, leaning his face in to inhale the smell. “It’s good to know we’re doing something good out here.”

“Yeah, it is,” Mark nodded. He didn’t even remember that well the taste of anything that wasn’t created by the food replicators. “Have you heard of the others?”

“I think there was success on the second planet as well, Alex wasn’t too specific because the message was so short,” Bambam stood up, his hair somehow even brighter in this vibrant mishmash of colours. “I expect we’ll hear from him soon.”

They examined the greenhouse with care, all the machines and computers needed to be checked before they could return to the ship. It was a relief no one had to stay here long to supervise the growth, it would have been too cruel to have such a job thrusted to anyone because the planet was void of life, save for the plants and the ones they had brought there with them.

“Tess, you and Brian make sure the eastern shields are holding, we’ll check the western ones,” Mark handed out the command to the two ensigns waiting. “We’ll leave after that.”

“Damn magnetic fields,” Bambam muttered, looking up at the lights above them. “If it wasn’t for them we wouldn’t have to walk back to the landing point.”

“Nothing we can do about it,” Mark said, already halfway towards the west side of the greenhouse.

  
  


“I hate getting up from the planet in this suit,” Brain whined when they had returned to the ship and were clunking their way up from the third floor. “Why can’t we use the shuttle?”

“Because it’s only in use when we need to transport something big down from here or up from there,” Mark replied, running his gloved hand through his hair. “Take off the suits and then write down your reports. I’ll need them today.” 

“Yes, sir,” 

Mark huffed, amused. He was always somewhat happy to be around the youngest members. They had such an innocent view to all of this and it felt refreshing, plus the ensigns both were good kids, Tess a little less intelligent than Brian, but overall they got the job done.

He heard the door slide shut behind him as he walked back to his quarters. He let the armour to be removed, sat down by his computer and wrote without a thought his report before he let any other thought enter his mind. Duty before anything, that was how he had operated for years now.

“Send the report to Captain Lauren Page,” Mark sighed, watching the screen and the moving windows.

“ _Report sent to Captain Page_ ,” the computer parroted after the file was sent off and Mark inhaled a long draft of air. 

He leaned back on his chair, looking up at the ceiling, the metallic bluish gray colours, the dents and spots of rust. Phoenix wasn’t a bad ship, she was just a little worn out. Some maintenance should be done but it would take at least six months before they would return to Haven, the nearest starbase.

His bed made no noise when he plopped down on it, closing his eyes. He felt restless. Uneasy. Angry even.

Fucking fuck. Mark cursed silently, turning onto his stomach and kicking and punching the bed like he was five years old and annoyed about the fact he was grounded for a month for sneaking out of the house to paint the neighbours fence with spray paint.

Maybe he should apply for some other position somewhere else, there might be an opening on another ship where he could get the promotions.

He sighed, resigned, breathing heavily into the pillow. What did it matter whether or not he got a promotion? He already got to do the daredevil stunts, do something good and worthwhile, and the pay wasn’t horrible. He had no family of his own so he usually sent whatever he didn’t need to his mother and father who were back on Earth II and alive by some luck. Not all were so lucky. 

The sun had dried up a few millennia ago and the Earth had died up. It was impossible to know if the galaxy their forefathers had lived in had anything left but that’s where the brave and bold -and the idiotic- went to search. Human race had learned quickly they needed to play by the same rules if they wanted to be saved, so the nations had formed an alliance that still lasted to this day and with what little existing technology they had had back then, apparently they had sent out scout ships in search of a planet they could evacuate to. Eventually, Earth II had been established. It wasn’t the same but it had a similar atmosphere and the vegetation was thriving, at least it had in the beginning. The problem, and the reason why Mark was in the depths of the space, were the changing of the seasons. They were longer and harder and even with all the time gone since the human race had settled there, it was periodically hard to get the crops to grow. That was the reason why Mark was here. He was a part of the forces that went out to search planets so they could build greenhouses to grow vegetation. Some planets were used to herd cattle and other animals, but people had gone back to treating meat as something to use in moderation, leaning more heavily on the vegetarian diets and food replicators.

Eventually Mark drifted off, falling asleep still fully clothed and woke up only to have his name ringing in from the comm on his computer.

“ _Lieutenant commander Tuan, please respond immediately!_ ”

“Shit!” Mark sat up so fast he nearly fell from the bed and then stumbled towards the desk. “Lt. commander Tuan responding!” it was odd to reply in such a manner; they had been here so long, and there were so few of them, it felt unnecessary to use their full titles. Of course when it was needed there was the time and a place for such things but normally there was no other reason to call him by his rank, not unless he had fucked up somehow during the visit on the planet, which he was sure he hadn’t done.

“ _Mark, the heck?_ ” the voice of their captain rang through the communicator and Mark grimaced. “ _I’ve been trying to call you for the last five minutes,_ ”

“Sorry, captain. Fell asleep,”

“ _Mark, come on_ ,” the captain tutted audibly before continuing. “ _Meet me at my office as soon as possible._ ”

“Yes, I’ll be there in no time,”

Trying to straighten his uniform and hair, Mark left his quarters in haste, not really bothered too much how he looked. The captain herself was more often than not covered in oil stains as she was usually trying to fix the ship in some way. Mark had never really understood the passion she had for all the knicknacks she so fervently dwelled on in her freetime but, each to their own.

“You wanted to see me Lauren?” Mark called when he knocked on the door of the captains office and it slid open to let him in.

“Yes, _lieutenant commander_ ,” Mark noted the underlined formality and glanced quickly around. “I’d like you to meet the new commander of Phoenix. My new second in hand, commander Jackson Wang,”

Mark stopped dead.

No way.

No fucking way.

He looked at the young face in front of him, facing him, brown eyes fixed on him and suddenly Mark was aware of how his shirt was rumpled, of how his hair was pointing everywhere, how shabby he must look next to the pristine black uniform the commander was wearing. Mark knew he was being judged and the anger flared suddenly and brightly inside him.

Not wanting to give way his emotions, Mark turned to Captain Page but didn’t say anything. 

“Sorry I’m late!” Bambam’s voice came from behind Mark and he stepped in, halting next to Mark. “Oh, my god! It’s you!” he jumped forward and grabbed the unsuspecting commanders hand in his and shook it almost violently. “Dude, don’t you remember me? We were at the Academy together, I was two years behind you but we took the same course for quantum physics together!”

The dumbfounded commander Wang blinked, looked at Bambam in confusion for a while and then his face lit up and he grabbed the younger officer into a bear hug.

“I thought you looked familiar!” the new commander had a high pitched laugh, a wide smile and Mark didn’t like him. He felt sour and cold and his eyes narrowed as he watched the two men finding common ground so quickly it was almost unnatural. 

“Dude,” Bambam detached himself from Jackson enough to look at Mark who was standing there like a frozen statue. “Don’t you remember Jackson Wang? I mean the whole Academy was talking about him.”

“No, I don’t,” Mark snapped, his mouth a thin line. “Good to have you on board, commander,” he said briskly, trying to hide his feelings and nodded at Jackson. “May I go now? I need to collect the reports from the others.”

“Yes, you may go. But,” the captain looked at Mark sternly. “Tomorrow we set out towards a new planet. I had a message coming in that they found a new promising planet only a few days away from here, and as we are the closest ship to it, we are going to go in and see if it’s suited for farming.”

“Yes, ma’am. I will make sure everything is in order when we reach the planet,” Mark turned on his heels and left the room as quickly as it was politely possible.


	2. Chapter 2

_ November 20th, 4152 _

“I don’t get it,” Bambam sighed. “What  _ is  _ your problem with Jackson?”

“Oh, it’s  _ Jackson _ now, is it,” Mark sneered, playing with his fork. "Nice to know you're on such great terms already with him. Like you were best buddies to start with."   


“Come on,” Bambam groaned, rolling his eyes. “Why don’t you like him? He’s a nice dude,”

“I haven’t got a problem with him,” Mark denied automatically, pushing the carrots around on his plate.

“Yeah? So why is it that you never speak to him more than a few barking words and always storm off with some lame excuse whenever we sit down to eat with you?”

“I don’t-” Mark started, but Bambam cut him off.

“Yes, you do. It’s rude and unprofessional. It’s fine if you don’t like him but come on, you’re being an absolute dick to him and we are supposed to be in here for a very long time together,” Bambam was looking at Mark like he was a misbehaving child. “It’s no good not getting along with your crew when you have nowhere to run.”

Mark went quiet, nibbling on the cold carrot that had never really had any flavour to begin with. 

Jackson Wang. His commanding officer. The one everyone liked and got along with.

Mark had lied when he had said he didn’t know Jackson was. Of course he knew. Everyone knew.  


Jackson had been the same year at the Academy as Mark, the one everyone was talking about because he was the son of one of the Admirals who had had a part in developing the technology for the space suits. 

This wasn’t the reason why Mark didn’t particularly care for Jackson, no, the resentment about the suits had come much later when he was working in the damn things on a daily basis, but back in the Academy, Mark had been a quiet, rather studious personality, save when he was with his friends. Jackson however hadn’t been quiet. He was loud, buoyant and made his views definitely heard, no matter how ridiculous they might be. On top of irritating half the population by being a loud ass he was also being exempted from all the exams just because was the Admiral’s son. Or so the tales told. Mark didn’t know the truth, he never had even tried to find out what had really been going on, he had merely assumed all the circulating rumours were true.

To this day he felt a burning resentment towards Jackson for graduating at the same time as Mark, Mark who might have not been at the top of his class, but above the average anyway, had seen Jackson being offered a top notch position at one of the flagships and all Mark could assume it was because of dear old daddy was pulling some strings to help his son to move forward in his budding career.

After graduation Mark hadn’t seen Jackson because he had been offered a low ranking position at one of the exploratory ships leaving Earth II to scavenge anything useful there might be on the neighbouring planets that were void of intelligent life.

And now, suddenly, out of the fucking blue, here was the golden boy Wang again, interfering in Mark’s calm and repetitive world, making him angry and irritated, making him grit his teeth so hard his jaws hurt and he had to ask for painkillers from Jonathan who was their only medic on board. And nevermind how Mark had just last week been bored to death with his life and now was bursting with feeling, as negative as they were, that was nothing. Jackson Wang, commander or not, was not someone Mark liked. End of story.

“You’re making a really weird face,” Bambam pointed out casually before getting up from his seat. “You should go to the gym to vent your feelings. Might do you some good,” his voice trailed off as he walked away from Mark who was still silently fuming.

He realised he was being idiotic, of course, he wasn’t stupid after all, but still the juvenile hatred was there and he didn’t know what else to do with it except just let it take control of him.

“Gym, huh?” Mark muttered, stuffing the cold, rather disgusting vegetables into his mouth. “Maybe I should.” It couldn’t hurt anyway, could it?

The ship's gym wasn’t anything extraordinary. It was a small space with enough basic equipment and machines to keep everyone happy and the computer was programmed to create individual training routines to suit their needs.

Mark stepped into the cool space, determined to burn some of his negative feelings off. It wasn’t healthy to be this angry all the time, it only consumed and wasted his energy on something so childish, and like Bambam had pointed out, it was unprofessional to be so annoyed. Phoenix was a small ship and with such a small crew it was essential to have good relations with each member, or things could get nasty in no time.

Mark headed for the big mirror, swinging his arms in the air already, warming up the muscles. He dropped the water bottle and his towel on the bench and began to stretch. 

He was halfway through a routine with a heavy kettlebell when he heard the door sliding open and shut but didn’t look up from the mirror until he had finished the round. He reached for his towel, wiping sweat from his forehead, and glanced at the mirror.

Jackson bloody Wang. Who else.

Mark’s mouth formed a straight line, like it seemed to do every single time Jackson was in the same space with him. 

“Do you need the leg press?” Jackson asked politely, pointing at the machine next to Mark.

“No,” Mark grunted but then softened his tone as much as it was possible for him because Bambam’s voice rang in his head screaming  _ rude! _ “It’s all yours.”

Jackson nodded and Mark turned back to his kettlebell. He tried not to take any notice of Jackson warming up and then moving onto doing his routine but it was hard to dismiss the presence of someone you’re adamantly trying to avoid in such a small space.

If Mark was honest to himself, and managed to put his resentment aside, he had to admit Jackson was a very handsome man. He had broad shoulders and a very small waist, his biceps were tight and his thighs and glutes in absolutely perfect shape. He wasn’t bigger or much smaller than Mark but he seemed more built up, like he had more mass than Mark did. Mark knew he was on the slender side of the scale, had always been, but damn, he did feel very flabby next to Jackson who seemed to have dedicated his life to keeping himself as fit as possible.

When Mark was halfway through his sumo squats with the bar resting over his shoulders he noticed Jackson watching him. When he finished and had put down the bar he turned to Jackson.

“Something wrong?” he wasn’t exactly rude, but the way the question came out could definitely be understood in such a way.

“No, not exactly,” Jackson obviously dismissed Mark’s offensive tone because he only worried his bottom lip between his teeth before continuing. “You have a fairly good stance but your knees keep turning in when you come up.”

“They do?” Mark was so genuinely surprised he forgot he was supposed to be angry at Jackson for even daring to breathe in the same room as him. 

“Like I said, it’s not exactly a problem but it could be if you don’t correct it,” Jackson stepped next to Mark. “Can I show you?” Mark nodded, still confused. Jackson flashed a quick grateful smile. “So, you squat like just did, but without the bar.”

“Ok,” Mark said, doing as he was told and squatted.

“There,” Jackson pointed out and Mark halted in the middle of going back up. “Your knees turn just slightly in when you’re coming up. You need to do the work with your glutes and thighs to prevent any knee injury. Mind and muscle connection is very important.”

“Right,” Mark frowned. He hadn’t noticed it before but now that Jackson pointed it out he saw where the problem was. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Jackson shrugged, going back to his bench press. 

Mark focused back on his routine but managed only the last part of his squats because by that time he realised he was having a hard time keeping his mind on what he was doing because he was forced to listen to Jackson grunting with the weights he was pushing up from the bench.

It was a rather unnerving thing to listen. Mark sat on the bench close to the mirror and watched Jackson quietly. The room was as silent as it usually was, the only things you could hear, apart from Jackson, were the hum of the ship and random beeps from the computer. He could see Jackson’s chest heaving when he was resting, the tight sleeveless shirt glued to his sweaty skin, and his arms gleaming, the curves of the muscles highlighted by the fluorescent lights.

Mark realised after a while the bottle he had been intending to bring up to his lips was stuck halfway up because he was too busy goggling at the flat stomach and flexing abdominal muscles working as Jackson pushed one more round of iron up with loud huffs and groans. It wasn’t going to be any good if he was caught doing that.

“The fuck,” Mark muttered to himself, shaking his head. He felt angry, irritated the way he had been caught up ogling at another man, and gathered up his things, heading out of the room. He left without a word, making a point of not looking in Jackson’s direction when he walked past him, definitely not making any notice of the bright red lips and dark eyes which were watching him storm out of the gym as fast as he could without making a fool of himself.

“Get a grip, you idiot. You’re supposed to be professional and  _ that _ ," Mark slapped his own head while walking down the corridor. “-was not professional!”

He tried his best in the upcoming days to be polite and keep his personal opinion about his commanding officer to himself, and to his surprise, it seemed like he was doing a good job with it. Bambam noted this one day by making a comment about how Mark seemed a little less like a prickly pear and even Jackson seemed to have lowered his defences with Mark and was seen to give him a hesitant smile across the dining room where they all ate.

Of course they would never be bosom buddies, of this Mark was sure of, but it did feel like there was less tension in general on the ship, and that was a good thing because the next mission came calling in one early morning.

“Bam, Mark!” Lauren’s voice echoed down from the upper deck and both Mark and Bambam looked up from the monitors. “Get up here.”

“You called us?” Mark said when they reached the helm, the front wall covered with a magnificent, curving window to see out into the space from up here, the vast darkness opening in front of them to observe.

“We’re getting a read of a planet nearby. Jackson launched a probe and confirmed it seems like it could be what we are looking for. I want you to go down there.”

“All three of us?” 

“No, I think Mark you and Jackson should go. Take Brian with you, he’s been too lazy these days, he needs some waking up,” Lauren frowned. “But be careful. This is a completely new planet and we have nearly nothing on the records of it, only what the probe came back with. Bam, I want you to monitor everything carefully, there might be something we are missing.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“We’ll be careful. Don’t worry,” Mark nodded curtly at the captain who was still frowning but no longer looking at them. They returned to the lower deck, puzzled.

“I wonder,” Bambam said, glancing back. “I haven’t seen her this worried in a while. Last time was when Vlad got injured.”

“I noticed it too,” Mark frowned, heading down the hall and towards his quarters. “I’m sure she’s got her reasons,” he shrugged. “Well, better get ready to fly with the golden boy.”

“Mark, I swear if you don’t stop doing that-”

“Fine, fine!” Mark raised his hands up in surrender. “I’ll be nice, I promise.”

A little later Mark found himself regretting he had promised to be nice. 

Watching Jackson in the dark grey and neon yellow striped space suit only made Mark wish he had refused to go on this mission with him. Bambam would have been a lot less salty about how the suit looked on him, and he would have in general been a lot better company. Mark was feeling irrationally irritated because Jackson looked so good in everything and on top of that he was so damn nice to everyone, even to Mark who, despite trying his best, didn’t always manage to hide his feelings.

“Ready?” Jackson turned to Mark and Brian, who were standing beside him on both sides. “Helmets on, check the communications, and the oxygen tanks,” the airlock closed behind them with a hiss and the three men finished checking that everything was working as they should be. “Ok, here we go.”

The jump was as glorious as it always was, like he had learned to fly when he shot into the void and towards the planet. He forgot everything for a while, just felt weightless and free while shooting forward, the airless space squeezing around the suit that was only a thin layer of protection over his fragile body.

Sometimes, when gliding through the empty space Mark could see distant specs of colour. He had seen brilliant nebulas and bursts of solar flares in his time, but there was always something special about the sun peeking from behind a planet’s edges, the crescent line of pure golden light taking his breath away, like it was doing now, the planet ahead of them experiencing this wonder of the universe right in front of his eyes.

Maybe it was because he was so immersed watching the gold light framing half of the planet, but it took a moment for Mark to realise something was wrong with his suit.

The helmet monitor blinked and flashed a few times and then Mark heard an odd buzzing sound before the whole screen guiding his fall went blank and everything was quiet. Too quiet.

“Brian?” Mark said, but didn’t get an answer. He could only hear his own muffled voice and breathing. “Jackson?” no response. “Fuck!” Mark adjusted his form carefully, trying to signal the other two about his plight.

Jackson was the first to notice and Mark could see the widening eyes, the worry creeping on his face when he realised something was wrong with Mark’s suit.

It theory, and only in theory, Mark knew he had a chance of getting down without any problems even if the internal computer had shut down. He just needed to maintain his form and hope that the other two would help him with the landing. Getting back to the ship would be easier as they could travel side by side. Getting down in one piece was the trickier part and finding a solution to this while basically free falling towards a planet from space? Not exactly what Mark would call an ideal situation.

He had no other choice but to trust his luck and his companions to intervene when it was safe to do so.

The planet got closer and closer and for a second Mark thought he might actually made it safely as nothing else had gone wrong, but then things went to hell.

He saw from the corner of his eye Jackson urgently trying to signal him something but by the time Mark realised what it was, it was too late. A piece of rock hurtled against him and Mark felt himself going off course, the course of his flight completely ruined and his body spinning endlessly towards the planet still thousands of miles below them. He couldn’t do anything, not yet, he had to wait for the spiraling to cease, try to gain some balance and then.. Then he would have to try to land without dying.

The monitor on his visor was blinking and flashing, the hit had obviously sparked some life into it but it was all a mess, and Mark had no time to stop to think, he couldn’t afford such a luxury, and he reached agonizingly slow towards the arm panel, the covering lid of it tearing off the moment it opened. It was a long shot but if he managed to ignite the emergency boosters at the back of the suit it could possibly save him. It was the only option he could think of and if he didn’t want to die by crashing on the surface of an unknown planet he would have to try, or die trying.

Mark gave into his instincts, gave into the survival mode that was his best chance at staying alive and right when he knew he was in the planet’s atmosphere he waited his body to find a certain angle and then hit the panel and felt the boosters crackle and fight a few times before they turned on, giving him enough time to slow down the speed he was hurtling downwards with, bought him just enough time to give him a slim chance of avoiding dying in the crash.

He curled up in the air when the boosters gave their last burst of air before dying out, and braced himself for the impact. He felt the ground hit against the armour, felt something snapping, felt a piercing pain but didn’t have time to locate the source before everything went black.


	3. Chapter 3

_ December 1st, 4152, unknown planet _

When Mark came to his senses first he didn’t see a thing. His head hurt, his body hurt and there was a ringing in his ears he hoped was just a passing thing. He felt like he had fallen from the sky. And he had. And it hurt like bitch.

“Fuck,” Mark coughed, trying to rise up to a sitting position, his eyes still shut. He thought the world might stay put if he didn't dare to open his eyes yet.

“Stay down,” someone pushed him back to the ground and Mark was grateful for one second because he had felt like he would black out again if he actually managed to sit up. “You took a mighty blow there. I wouldn’t move if I were you.” the voice was somewhat familiar and Mark had to search his memory a good long while before it landed on the one person he really didn’t want it to land.

“Jackson?” the name came from his dry lips as a whisper because Mark was feeling the pain on his chest quite vividly right now.

“Yeah,” Jackson sighed. “Sorry. Just me.”

“Brian?” Mark tried to open his eyes again but decided it was better to keep them closed for the time being.

“We came after you as soon as we could. Found you here, unconscious. Brian went back to the ship to get the shuttle,” Jackson explained quietly. “Your suit is fucked.”

“Oh,” Mark exhaled slowly. It really hurt to exist right now and he kind of wished he was still unconscious. “Figured.”

“Do you think you’re in one piece?” something shifted above Mark, he could sense it and he felt fingers, at least he assumed they were fingers, moving hair away from his forehead. The touch was oddly gentle and Mark, had he not been in such pain, would have swatted the hand off in no time, but considering Jackson didn't know if Mark was paralyzed or not, it was no surprise he kept his touch soft. 

Mark dared to squint towards the light that wasn’t exactly bright, but for his injured head it felt like knives being pushed through his eye sockets.

“Dunno. Everything hurts.” Mark managed to steady himself enough to try sitting up again. Jackson helped him without saying a word and Mark wheezed for a good while before trying to focus his aching eyes on where they were. 

When he finally had his vision in check he saw what the environment looked like. The ground was covered in something that looked like sand but it was red, and it was sprinkled with rocks of various sizes and shapes. Nothing seemed alive here, save for him and Jackson.

“Got any readings?” Mark asked Jackson because he didn’t want to think how long he would have to sit here and wait for the shuttle to pick them up. It could take hours and he really wanted to swallow a bucket full of painkillers.

“Nothing really. There’s radiation that’s fucking up the readings but the air is breathable, which is a plus,” Jackson tried to crack a smile. “Otherwise we would have to breath through the same oxygen tank.”

Mark made a face that didn’t really mean anything.

So, the planet was a bust. Whatever had given the probe the idea there was life here was still a mystery. Mark glanced at the horizon and then turned away because the light of the two suns disappearing behind the edge of the world hurt him more than he cared to admit.

“Got any water with you?” 

“Yeah,” Jackson rummaged in the small backpack they all carried with them, Mark’s was probably smashed to bits somewhere, and handed Mark a thin bottle. “Might want to save it a little. Don’t know how long it will take for them to pick us up.”

They watched in silence the suns going lower and lower, and the air turned cooler, almost cold after their shadows were so long they weren't shadows anymore, and the sand around them turned from a red to blue and black.

“What the hell is that?” Mark suddenly pointed at something huge moving in the horizon. He regretted extending his arm the second he had done it. Probably not a good idea to move at all. “I’m not hallucinating, am I?”

Jackson squinted at the direction Mark had pointed.

“It’s huge, whatever it is.”

“Maybe the probe picked up the lifesign from that.”

“Could be,” Jackson seemed to be examining the surroundings suddenly with more care. “Damn it!” he cursed. “There’s another one. There, do you see it?”

“And there’s a third,” Mark grunted, noticing the hulking shadow of something enormous slithering on the desert edges, turning here and there, as if it was searching something. This wasn’t good. He could see the creatures, whatever they were, moving alarmingly fast towards the place where they were.

“I think we should get out of here,” Jackson licked his lips nervously, looking at Mark. 

“I can’t move you idiot.” Mark didn’t mean for it to come out so nasty but it did and for a second Jackson looked like he wanted to say something really bad back to him but in the end didn't.

“We have to get to safety, to find some cover,” it was like Mark had said nothing. Jackson kept looking around him as if by some miracle some shelter would pop up from the ground. Mark was hurting and he was getting pissed off. Jackson had a fully working suit on himself and he was in perfect health, Mark wasn’t any of these, thus, it was only logical for Jackson to get off the ground and leave Mark here to face the unknown creatures and most likely die. So much for surviving the crash.

“You get out of here, honestly.”

“I’m not leaving you here.” there was a stubborn note in Jackson’s reply and Mark lost his patience completely.

“Get out of here! NOW! You can still take off, right? The fuck are you still waiting for?”

“I can’t leave you here!” Jackson shouted, looking around them in desperation and then stopped like he had seen a portal turn up in mid air. “There’s a cave up there, we could be safe there!”

“Fuck off Jackson, stop playing a hero and just LEAVE!” Mark was yelling now, he didn’t care if the things on the other side heard them, they were anyway coming, he just wanted Jackson to leave and save himself because if he stayed here they would both die and Mark was not going to die with fucking Jackson bloody Wang.

“Shut up Mark,” Jackson hissed, clamping a hand over Mark’s mouth. It hurt and due to the shock of pain it gave to him Mark merely winced and fell silent. “I’m really sorry but you’ll have to put up with me for a little while longer. Can you walk at all?”

“I don’t know. Don’t think so,” Mark tried to wiggle his toes on his right leg but couldn’t, and then there was the pain around his chest that was no joking matter. “I think more than one place is broken.”

“Shit,” Jackson hissed but then seemed to steel himself. “I’ll carry you, ok?” 

“No, really,” Mark tried to resist but Jackson was on his feet already.

“We don’t have time to argue,” he looked at Mark seriously. “Now, I’m sorry, but you’re probably going hurt so fucking much, and we need to hurry or we are both dead because those things do not look friendly at all.”

“Fine, what's a little more pain in this situation." Mark inhaled slowly, steeling himself. 

“I can give you something to bite on if you want,” Jackson offered, looking a little lost when he said that.

“Like what? Pebbles?” a faint and desperate attempt at humour in a disastrous situation was all Mark could do at this point, besides being angry and a little panicked.

“Uh,” Jackson looked around him but there was nothing but ash and stones. “My sock?”

Mark gave Jackson that suggested Jackson had just grown a second head, or had suggested Mark to run naked on the streets of the capitol city.

“No,” his reply left no room for argument this time. “Been there, done that, not doing it again. Just lift me up.  _ Now! _ ”

Jackson did as he was told, the urgency of the situation springing him to action and much to Mark’s surprise he picked up Mark from the ground fairly easily and then started to make their way towards the cave somewhere ahead. 

“We’re going to have to talk about this sock incident later on,” Jackson grunted between his teeth, slipping and sliding on the loose rocks under his feet.

“Just walk, damnit.” 

It wasn’t even a cave, really, but it would do as a temporary shelter.

Jackson tried to be gentle when he put Mark down on the ground but he was in a hurry to do something about the cave mouth so he put Mark down on the sandy floor rather roughly and Mark ended up fainting from the pain when he tried to adjust his uncomfortable position.

When he woke up they were surrounded by absolute darkness. His head was resting on something more comfortable than he would have expected and Mark turned his head slowly from side to side. Of course he didn’t see anything, the night had probably fallen on the outside of the cave, but it was an instinctive thing to do, to try to see something even in pitch black darkness.

Turning his head also gave him necessary information about his status; his neck seemed to be fine, which was a good thing, and he could feel his fingers and move them,which was fantastic as well. He was bruised and battered and would feel every inch of his body for a good while longer but he was alive and well, except for his right leg and his ribs. The pain was a dull thudding pulse running through his body and he felt cold. It would be better to get out here fast.

“Jackson?” Mark whispered, afraid he would wake up some unknown terror in the darkness.

“I’m here,” Jackson’s response was a quiet whisper as well. “I managed to push some bigger boulders to cover the cave mouth. I guess we’re safe for the moment.”

“Right,” Mark didn’t know what to say. To think Jackson had carried him here, in full fucking armour while also himself suited up, and then had pushed rocks to cover the cave? Damn. If there was a time to feel grateful, this probably was it. “Thanks,”

“We’re not safe yet, but you’re welcome.” Jackson’s reply was steady but Mark thought he could hear a hint of anxiety hidden behind the words.

The silence surrounding them was as absolute as the darkness. Mark heard nothing from outside the cave, nothing to indicate there had ever been any danger for them at all. And inside the cave, there was just him and Jackson, and the sound of their breathing.

That was when Mark realised where his head was resting, the realisation hit so fast he didn’t first know what to do with the knowledge and then he fought the urge to hurl himself sideways to avoid such a situation but managed to keep himself still.

What Mark figured out from the fact where his head was and where Jackson’s voice came from, the rest he was guessing, it seemed that Jackson had situated them so that Mark was resting against Jackson with his head on Jackson’s chest. The silence and the darkness only made Mark very aware of the fact that he could hear the steady beating of Jackson’s heart incredibly clearly, could hear every intake of air, could almost feel every exhale.

“So, uh, Mark?” Jackson cut the silence where the only sounds were the two of them, shifting and breathing, as if they weren’t in a very bad situation but only having a light conversation at dinner. “Why do you hate me?”

Well, that was straight to the point.

Mark swallowed. 

“I don’t hate you,” he began but Jackson cut him short.

“No? Then why do you act like it?”

“It’s hard to explain.”

“We have time.”

“Right,” Mark said dryly. “I suppose we do.”

Jackson remained silent, waiting. Mark sighed, grateful for the darkness for the moment because he was sure he didn’t look very comfortable talking about this. It all seemed to freakishly petty right now, after all Jackson had done to save Mark.

And who knew if they would ever even get out of here alive. What was the point of hiding his reasons for resenting Jackson if they were to die anyway? At least he would get it off his chest if nothing else.

“I lied when I said don’t remember you from the Academy,” Mark started slowly. “I do remember because you were the same year as I was,” he hesitated before continuing. “This all seems so stupid right now, I hope you realise it, but it made sense at some point.”

“Go on,” Jackson’s reply wasn’t exactly warm, but it wasn’t cold as ice either. So, Mark lunged forward.

He told Jackson about the rumours, the fact that he was the teacher’s pet, the golden boy who would become something because he was regarded as something like a gift to humanity, and that was only because he was Admiral Wang’s son. Mark told Jackson how he had resented Jackson for being so carefree, seemingly having everything handed to him on a silver platter, having it so easy with the exams, being offered such a great job right after graduation when everyone else had to fight for opportunities like that.

“-and then you turn up here in the middle of uncharted space and there goes my promotion down the nearest black hole.” Mark finished lamely, knowing full well this was just as childish as it sounded. What an idiot he was.

Jackson was quiet a long time, the only thing Mark could hear was the thumping of the heart somewhere under his head.

“You know,” Jackson said slowly after what felt like a lifetime of silence. “It wasn’t easy being regarded as the golden boy, like everyone had some kind of an idea of me and it didn’t fit at all with what I felt. And I definitely didn’t get through the exams by favoritism. I wasn’t good, but I managed, quite poorly at times because I didn’t study, but I did pass anyway. Back then I was reckless and loud and I did stupid stunts all the time, I admit that, but it was me rebelling against my father, against his expectations of me, and everyone else’s as well.”

Mark was stunned, he had expected to be told he was an idiot, that he was a petty loser and he should grow up, or something along those lines. He hadn’t however expected Jackson to start opening up on his own view of the matter, how growing up hadn’t been such a cakewalk everyone thought it had been.

“And I refused that offer I got when we graduated.”

“You did?” Mark was stunned. "But it was such a high-end job!"

"Yeah, well," Jackson sighed. "Do you think they would normally offer that kind of job to anyone who just has graduated, and with shitty degrees too? Nah, I wasn't ready for that job so I turned it down."

"I didn't expect that."

"What did you expect? That I was some snooty rich kid with dear old daddy who made everything easy?"

"Well.." Mark shifted guiltily but an arm wrapped around his chest and he stopped moving immediately. Something embarrassing and hot spread all over his body when he thought what they must look like if there wasn’t the blessed darkness covering them.

“Don’t move. I doubt it’s good for you to move any more than it’s absolutely necessary.” Jackson’s voice was so low, so raspy even his whispering sounded kind of.. 

Mark shook his head. He didn’t need to go down that path.

“How long do you think it’s been since Brian left?” Mark changed the subject now that his dirty little secret was out and in the open. He felt somewhat relieved he had told Jackson about his grudges, but he still wasn’t convinced this would change anything between them. 

“Maybe a couple of hours,” Jackson was warm against Mark’s back and Mark realised he must have torn off the top piece of the armour in order to make Mark more comfortable. Damn, he felt so incedibly stupid having disrespected Jackson so hard, having doubted whether or not he was good enough of the rank he had been bestowed. “They should be here soon I expect. My tracking device is still working so if the radiation isn’t too bad the captain and the rest should find us soon enough.”

Mark made a noncommittal sound at the back of his throat, trying to breath in deeply but it caused him only more pain. He just hoped he wasn’t bleeding internally or anything because he was starting to feel really cold and the pains and aches were not easing at all.

“So, what’s the story behind the sock?” Jackson asked after a short pause and Mark had to give credit to him once again for distracting him from thinking the damage he has sustained.

Mark barked a laugh that sounded so dry in the dusty air. The cave was probably filled with sand like the rest of the planet, or at least what they had seen of it. If they ever got out of here they would probably look like they’d rolled in red dust.

“That?” Mark’s mind went back to his years before the Academy, to his school days when he hadn’t known anything of how painful it was to fall from the sky. “It was a drunken dare, like all those things tend to be. I lost a bet and the payment was to have a sock stuffed in my mouth, and to make it even worse it had to be a used sock. It wasn’t anything what you’d call pleasant, so,” Mark chuckled. It probably was the first time he was feeling so at ease in Jackson’s company, even despite the graveness of the situation. “Thanks for your offer but I’d rather not repeat it.”

“I see. So you aren’t as stuck up as you seem, huh?” Jackson’s voice was dripping with amusement and Mark swore he could detect a rumble of laughter inside Jackson’s chest because he was so close to it. “That’s good because I-”

“Jackson? Mark?” A voice came from the darkness, the sound echoing in the cave, bouncing off the walls like a ball.

“Bambam!” Jackson let out a whisper and then tried to get up as gently as he could without hurting Mark. “We’re in the cave! Just move the big rocks from the mouth!” Mark could hear Jackson making his way to the other side, grunting in effort to move the boulders for them to get out of here.

A wave of relief washed over Mark; they were saved. He wasn’t going to die on this stupid planet after all and he had Jackson Wang to thank for it. Of course. And what was worse, Mark huffed as he listened to the people moving the boulders aside, he actually felt like he might  _ like _ Jackson a little.

The irony didn’t escape him.

Jonathan told Mark kindly he would have to reset the bone on Mark's leg the moment Mark was lying on the shuttle floor. It was a fairly sad thing, Mark thought when he was trying to mentally prepare for the incoming pain, that he wasn’t delirious or drugged or unconscious even, because his intake of pain for the day was definitely full.

“How about that sock now, right?” Mark made a futile attempt at joking a second before Jonathan took a hold of his leg and pulled.

The sound of the bone cracking back to its place echoed years later in Mark’s mind. Later on he could remember how bad the pain had been, how he had nearly black out but hadn’t, and he distinctly remembered how Jackson had been holding him, pressing him down from his shoulders and how, surprisingly enough, Mark had squeezed Jacksons’s arms, had dug his nails into the skin, to steady himself.

A few days later in Mark’s quarters Jackson showed Mark the bruising and tiny scabbing here and there around his forearms due to Mark’s nails drawing blood.

“You ought to cut your nails,” Jackson groaned. “I feel like I’ve met a wild cat in the mountains!”

“Maybe you did,” Mark joked, leaning against his pillows, feeling winded even though it had been two days since their little adventure. “It was dark, you can’t be sure what lurked in the shadows.”

“Oh, I was fine until you sank your little claws on me on the shuttle!” Jackson took Mark’s hand in his and examined the fingers. “Just look at them! You could climb a tree with these!”

Mark burst out laughing but it made his healing ribs hurt and he merely stifled his laughter into weak chuckling.

“Thank you, Jackson,” Mark said after his laughter had died down enough. “You saved me even though I was an ass to you.”

Jackson didn’t say anything, just kept holding Mark’s hand in his, looking at their fingers pressed together with a strange look in his eyes.

“Don’t mention it,” he finally said, looking up and smiling. “You’d do the same, even if you think I’m a horrible snob.”

Mark rolled his eyes in response. 

“Maybe.” his eyes lowered from Jackson’s face to their clasped hands and it was as if only then he realised Jackson was holding his hand so gently in his. It struck Mark odd and something shifted inside him. He felt warm and uncomfortable,felt something undetermined somewhere very deep inside and he frowned.

Jackson probably saw Mark looking at their hands because he suddenly let go and stood up.

“Good to see you’re doing great! It’s my turn at the helm so I have to go,” he turned to walk away from Mark, his stance a little too stiff to be completely normal and only stopped by the door to look back one more time. “Try to sleep, ok? We need you back on duty but first you have to get better,” and with that he walked out of the quarters, leaving Mark in a very confused state.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm probably not going to have time to update tomorrow because I have houseguests, but I'll get back to writing as soon as possible~
> 
> Are you enjoying the story so far? Let me know! 
> 
> (also incredibly sorry for typos and such because I am horrible at proofing)


	4. Chapter 4

The incident on the planet didn't turn Mark into loving Jackson but he did become a whole lot less hostile towards him, sometimes actually managing a smile, or even a laugh when he was in Jackson's company. 

Mark was naturally banned from doing anything heavy for the next two weeks due to his broken leg and ribs, and the other multiple injuries his body had received, but with the help of Jonathan who mended the bones in a flash but couldn’t fix the pain all at once, Mark was soon ready to perform his duties again.

Of course his suit was a mess. It had many broken bits and pieces and even if the armour was made out of near indestructible material it was cracked in places. Guess everything had a breaking point and the one for his armour had been him shooting down from the goddamn sky.

So, Mark spent his recovery time by tinkering the suit, welding the broken parts and fixing the loose wires. The helmet monitor was easy, he’d always loved working with computers, so it was no surprise he soon got the screen back up and working, same with the arm monitor. He replaced the lid that had been torn off, Vlad’s old suit was still onboard the Phoenix and Mark used it as spare parts.

In the end he almost had the armour in perfect condition, just with one exception. He couldn’t for the life of him find out what was wrong with the communications and no matter what he tried, nothing never worked.

This wasn’t a problem as such since Mark was unable to go into space anyway before his body was healed, so for his recovery time he simply managed by doing his duty on monitoring the others when joining the landing party. 

After the two weeks' time of healing, Mark was sure he could go out again in the suit, but only if he didn’t mention the broken comm to anyone. He would just have to be careful and extremely attentive to what the others were doing. And, if there was be no trouble he would be fine doing routine checkups on the surface.

One new thing during his time off duty, and it struck Mark as extremely odd at first, was how much Jackson in the end spent time with him.

Jackson came to drag Mark out to have breakfast, and lunch,  _ and _ dinner. He coaxed Mark back to the gym once he felt better and less dizzy everytime he got up, even helped with the physiotherapy for Mark’s leg.

Even Bambam made an amused remark of how close Mark had become with Jackson, saying something that soon they would announce their engagement and get married, to which Mark reacted by hitting Bambam on the head with a thick manual.

He wasn’t a hundred percent sure why the shift in their friendship had happened, or maybe it had been due to the dangerous situations they had been in, but it didn’t feel  _ bad _ to hang out with Jackson, work out together, swap weird childhood stories which weren’t much different after all.

Mark noted for the first time one day after having first had a bad night while trying to keep the ship intact because their course led them too close to an asteroid field that had somehow turned up from nowhere even though the computer was supposed to warn them about such things, and right agter that having accidentally locked himself in between security doors on the second level while picking up some necessary tools from the storage, that Jackson seemed to be there to help no matter what sort of trouble Mark managed to get into.

The asteroid field? Piece of cake with Jackson who took the second chair at the helm and helped Mark to fly safely away. 

Getting stuck in between heavy titanium walls? No problem as Jackson soon came running to open the doors manually from outside.

So, yes. It was hard not to be grateful for Jackson's friendship and Mark knew he was getting over the fact that he  _ didn’t _ resent Jackson like he had before.

_ January 2nd, 4153. Deep space _

"We need to go back to Haven sooner than expected," Lauren informed them over breakfast when January rolled in. "Mark's armour still needs tending and we need to pick up rations anyway." She rolled her shoulders and got up. "I’ll go and turn the ship around and we will head straight back, no stops on the way. Estimated time of arrival in Haven should be in two weeks at warp 3."

Mark glanced at Bambam opposite him when the captain had returned to the bridge.

"That's a bullshit reason she just gave us," Bambam said quietly. "Our stocks are good for another three months or so."

“I know,” Mark who had followed the captain with his eyes when she exited the room. “My suit is not in complete disarray either. I managed to fix everything so I can still go out, though the comm system is down. I can’t find a reason why it stopped working in the first place.”

“Probably a loose wire of something, it usually is something really small that fucks up everything.”

“Guess so, and I’m not an expert anyway,” Mark munched on the piece of bread he had in his hands, looking around them. The two young ensigns were huddled together, laughing with Jonathan around the other table in the messhall. “Suppose that’ll turn into something?” he pointed at how Brian kept giving Tess a terribly smitten look which she was very pointedly dismissing by directing her attention on the oldest member of the trio instead.

“Brian and Tess?” Bambam snorted. “Who knows. I’ve heard stranger things happening on long missions.”

“But if they end up dating and then breaking up, we are definitely looking at changes in the crew again,” Mark sighed. This was a common problem, especially on smaller ships where you couldn’t escape a broken heart if you happened to have a fling that didn’t end up so well. “It’s no good having a relationship out here, just causes trouble for everyone.”

“Uh huh, whatever you say,” Bambam raised his brows, smirking knowingly at Mark who tried to swat him with his plate but missed. “Hi, Jackson.”

Mark turned immediately to see Jackson walking towards the two of them looking as good as he ever had, and unconsciously Mark straightened his back and smoothed his face from the scowl directed at Bambam to a polite smile.

"Hey guys," Jackson sank on the chair opposite, smiling at them both. “Lauren just relieved from the helm and told me the news. Happy to get out of here and stretch your legs on the floors of Haven for a change?”

“It’s always good to get out of here,” Bambam said. “One might go crazy being contained with you guys for long periods.”

“Sure, because we are the annoying ones,” Mark grinned. Bambam was usually the one causing heated feelings by sometimes making rude, but accurate, comments to Mark but for whatever trouble or bad feelings it caused, Mark had never thought them too much. There was always a line to cross and Bambam never went over it, at least not on purpose.

“Been friends for long, have you?” Jackson mused, looking at them. “It’s nice to have long term friends around you know you can depend on.”

“Depend on this buttcrack?” Bambam laughed. “Sure, you’d save my skinny ass from the furthest corners of the galaxy, but I’d still feed you to a pack of hungry sandwolfs on Mars III.”

“And here I thought you actually liked me,” Mark sniffed, giving Bambam a friendly shove on his shoulder with his.

“Nah, man,” Bambam chuckled. “I’m always happy to get rid of you, so just watch out. We might pass a wormhole one day and before you know it, I might have pushed you in it!”

Mark and Bambam both burst out laughing, but Jackson’s face fell and he glanced at his hands, balling them into fists.

“You shouldn’t say that. It could happen to anyone.”

“I know that,” Bambam went from smiles to seriousness in a blink of an eye. “I was just joking. I wouldn’t want any of you to get lost in space for real. I mean, I know you have but,” he didn’t finish his sentence.

Mark examined Jackson carefully. He noticed the darker circles under his eyes from this distance and a slight bend in his posture. Was something the matter with him or didn’t he get proper sleep? It was hard to tell sometimes because Jackson, as much as Mark knew him, didn’t stop being a happy-go-lucky sort of person very easily. Of course he was focused when he was on duty, but off duty? As happy as a clam, on most days.

Could this sudden sullen expression and sad demeanor have something to do with the Exodus?

It was impossible to say, though it was a fairly good guess considering the topic at hand, but the next second Jackson’s mood had changed again and he grinned widely at them over the table, cracking a joke about how he should probably dump the captain’s old books into space where they would never be found again.

"Oh, by the way, Mark,” Jackson turned to him when they stopped imagining how Lauren would skin them alive if they ever touched her precious books she had in her office. “I checked our duty roster and you and I are off tonight. Want to hit the gym?"

"Sure." Mark smiled back at him.

"Great! I'll see you there at 1900 hours." Jackson got up, walking away from them and Mark could hear Bambam talking next to him but the words went in from one ear and came out the other.

"Checked the roster?" Bambam muttered into his tea. "You  _ make _ the rosters, dumbass."

Mark only catched the last few words. He had been too busy watching Jackson go.

"Did you say something?" he blinked at his friend.

"Nope," Bambam stretched his arms up. "Nothing important."

The calm silence of the gym seemed more soothing than irritating it when Mark had started bumping into Jackson in there. During those time Mark would have abandoned his routine just because he couldn't focus with Jackson there and now that he remembered it, it just made him grimace with embarrassment. 

  
Jackson was staring out of the ship window, his expression a little sad when they were doing their end of routine stretches. He looked tired all of a sudden, like he was dwelling in on something that made him somber. It was a lot like the expression Jackson had had on when Bambam had made a lame joke about getting lost in space.

No one really knew what had happened to the Exodus. There were rumours, like there always were, but Mark didn't believe half of them, and now that he was somewhat closer with Jackson, who had actually been on the starship when it disappeared, he had a chance of daring to ask about it. But would he get an answer if he did ask?

“Listen, Jackson,” Mark approached him slowly, making up his mind. “I know it’s not my place to ask but what happened to you guys? On the Exodus?”

Jackson stiffened visibly, his eyes reflected on the window widening. He didn’t turn to Mark when he replied. 

“Why do you ask?”

“Well, you took Bam’s joke a little too seriously so I figured it might have brought back something you didn’t want to remember,” Mark shuffled the towel in his hands. “And now you’re staring out, looking really sad and tired.”

“Well,” Jackson heaved a sigh and turned to Mark, his eyes dark in the dim light. “I suppose you’re right, it’s the Exodus that I was thinking of.”

“I didn’t,” Mark muttered, feeling a little bad for even asking as it obviously was a tender subject. “I didn’t mean to push anything. You don’t have to explain if it’s too much to talk about.”

Jackson gave a small smile that melted away almost instantly and to Mark’s utter surprise Jackson did start talking again. 

“It was just a routine check up on the Beta and Alpha quadrants borders, you know. They ordered us there to see if anything was amiss and it all went fine until something happened no one could have ever expected.”

Mark was watching Jackson quietly, taking in every word, nearly forgetting to breathe.

“The ship started to shake like we were caught in a spacetime turbulence or something, it came out of nowhere. It felt like the whole ship would tear apart, the alarms were yelling and the crew were thrown here and there as the ship went through whatever it was it went through. There was nothing we could do, not until it stopped but it felt like we were flung across the universe until everything came to a stop and we could see what happened.”

“What was it then?” Mark didn't dare to speak loud, he was horrified. Of course such things did happen every now and then to unfortunate ships, and it was never a pleasant experience if there was anyone left to tell the tale later.  


“It took a long time to figure out but eventually someone realised we’d gone through a wormhole and were now somewhere in the back end of the universe. No idea when and where it was, but there was very little we could find in there, a few planets circling a small sun and that was about it,” Jackson scratched his chin, glancing at Mark. “We had almost 500 people on board when we landed there, only 150 survived. Ran out of medication, rations. Shuttles and suits were breaking, there was power shortage.. You name it, we faced it. Somehow, after I don’t know how long, the ship's log says we were there for maybe five years, we found the wormhole and got shot back to our space.”

It took a while for Mark to find his voice again.

“Can’t even imagine what it was like.”

"No, probably not," Jackson sighed, hanging his head down for a while and then looked up again.  “But we can only celebrate the ones we lost by doing something worthwhile in their stead,” Jackson flashed a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, but almost. “Come, I want to show you something.”

Mark had never been to Jackson’s quarters, the reason being quite obvious, though he didn’t even visit Bambam’s very often and Jackson wasn’t nearly as close as the younger lieutenant was to him. So, naturally Mark hesitated to step in from the door but Jackson merely laughed at his hesitation and dragged Mark in by his arm.

“Here,” Jackson gave a small ball of glistening light to Mark after having rummaged through a small trunk he pulled from under his bed.

“What is it?” Mark lifted the small thing closer to his eyes. It was a crystallized speck of glittering light, but it kept changing while being stuck in its beautiful prison. It was like a snowflake or a glimmering cloud of dust, moving and swirling as if it was caught in a slowly swaying vortex. “It’s beautiful.”

“I don’t know what it is,” Jackson said quietly, watching Mark with that same odd expression on his face as he had had on the night he came to show his wounds around his arms. “I intended to give it to my mother but she said she’d rather I gave it to someone special. I had it checked at the labs,” he poked at the glass ball. “It’s not a sentient being by our standards at least, so I don’t feel bad for bringing it with me.”

“It would have been quite bad if it was alive, true,” Mark commented absent-mindedly, his gaze stuck on the thing dancing on his palm, flashing in all the possible shades there were to find in the universes and galaxies, like he had caught a star straight from the sky and now it laying on his palm. “Whoever you’ll give it to will be one lucky person.” he handed the thing back to Jackson.

“I suppose so,” Jackson looked at the ball a few seconds before he tucked it away again.  "Mark, listen, there’s something-," he fell silent towards the end, not managing to finish the sentence. He just stood there, looking very unlike his usual self.

"What?" Mark was puzzled. He was by now used to seeing Jackson not hesitating at all no matter what he did, so seeing him like this was very unorthodox. 

"I'm kind of sorry but there's something on my mind and I really want to do it,"

"Then do it," Mark tilted his head, bewildered. "Why do you hesitate?"  


"Because it involves you." Jackson was definitely not looking at Mark right now. His eyes were anywhere else except on Mark and this just made Mark more and more curious what was eating Jackson.

"Okay.. I still don’t see a reason why you shouldn’t just do it."

Jackson's eyes came back up and he swallowed hard, examining Mark from head to toe before speaking again.

"Fine, I'll do it," he moved forward, stopping only when he was standing right in front of Mark. "You can hit me later if you want." Now Jackson was looking into Mark’s eyes and he was still unable to understand what was going on and for one more second Mark was curious to know what Jackson wanted to do but then.. Then he no longer was.

Jackson leaned forward, eyes cast down to look at something other than Mark's eyes and then his lips were there, on Mark's lips. 

Jackson was kissing him and Mark just stood there and let it happen.

Time seemed to have stopped, though the kiss didn't last for more than a few seconds, but it was enough for Mark to notice a lot of things. 

First, Jackson smelled really nice up close.

Second, his lips were really soft, even if a little chapped.

Third, Jackson's eyes seemed huge at close distance.

Fourth, Jackson wasn't joking around for once.

And then Jackson pulled away before Mark could really wrap his brain around what was happening.

"Sorry." And with that, he was gone and Mark stood there in Jackson’s quarters like he was paralyzed, fingers touching his lips that seemed to be tingling.

_ The heck? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh, how do you like that? Eh? Eh? :D


	5. Chapter 5

_January 6th, 4153, near Ciaran III_

The red alert went off in the middle of the night.

Mark didn’t realise what was happening until someone was already banging on his door, yelling at him to get up and get suited as soon as possible.

Not really fully awake yet, Mark stepped on the pad and the machine whirred into action, the armour, as dented and beaten as it was, attaching itself on him without any problems. Good thing he had been able to fix it since they could never be sure when they’d run into an emergency, like now apparently.

“What’s the trouble?” Mark panted, having ran up the stairs to the fifth deck where everyone else was, looking just as alarmed as he did.

“One of the greenhouses on the Ciaran III is on fire,” the captain pointed at the monitor giving out the warning where usually they merely kept an eye on the readings from the greenhouses on different planets. “Jonathan, you’re going to take Tess and Brian and get down there in the shuttle, we can’t all fit in there and this requires us all down on the planet. Gather up the necessary equipment and go. The rest will follow me. Mark?” she turned to look at him directly. “Is the suit working properly? I don’t want you to go down there in it if there’s a slightest chance it will cause problems.”

“I fixed it. It works fine.” Mark hurried to assure her and tried to ignore the frown Bambam was giving him.

“Good. Then let’s move!”

“Mark,” Bambam pulled him aside when they were gathering near the airlock, the shuttle bay empty now as Jonathan had already set off with the two ensigns on board with him. “You said you hadn’t fixed the communicator. Are you sure this is a good idea? You could have gone in the shuttle instead.”

“It’s just the comm,” Mark whispered. “The suit works fine. I’ll signal you if something is amiss, ok?”

It was one thing to hop into the space with an armour that was working only 85 percent but when you had an emergency like this fire, you really ought to have a fully functioning suit on you but obviously Mark felt like he could push his luck today. It would probably cost him something if anyone found out, but that was a concern for later.

“Damn you. I shouldn’t be covering for you.” Bambam cursed but went quiet as the captain addressed them again.

“Be careful. We can’t be sure how far the fire has spread and we need to stop it from getting worse. If you get in trouble, get out of there immediately,” she gave them a stern glance. “Understood?”

“Yes, ma’am!”

One by one they jumped from the airlock, the space as calm as it always was, like nothing smaller than a black hole could bother it. Mark saw the planet far away down below, the surface looked so peaceful but knowing what might await them Mark had no delusions of they were about to face. 

This wasn’t an uncommon thing to happen, but it was always bad. Mark counted at least ten different times they had done a similar rescue mission over the years they had been exploring this section of the galaxy. Fires, floods, earthquakes, volcanoes bursting.. The planets they searched definitely came with dangers in varying levels. Some were harmless, some not so much.

 _Harmless.._ Mark wanted to snort but kept his cool. Harmless like what Jackson had done a few days ago and had ever since been nothing but evasive talking about it. Harmless maybe, but damn it was irritating to have to deal with it because unless Mark would tie Jackson down and force him to talk about it, they would probably never get to a talking point.

At first he had been a little shocked, a perfectly normal reaction, then he had been confused because he didn't know what to make of it with all his own emotions being mostly in disarray and he wanted to talk to Jackson about it and by the time he had tried at least five times to raise the subject with Jackson Mark was already annoyed.

So that was where they were right now. Mark was annoyed and Jackson was not talking.

Bloody coward. Who did that anyway? Kiss someone and then refuse to address the whole thing? An idiot, that's who.

Mark vowed himself he would make Jackson talk before they would reach Haven but first, they needed to handle the emergency.

When they reached the Ciaran III atmosphere it was no longer possible to ignore the clouds of smoke towering towards the sky from the direction of the greenhouse they were here trying to save. The terrain on the planet was unusually fertile for what they encountered in this sector, the massive trees and green fields surrounded by mountains and lakes, it was like a paradise no one had thought to use before they came in and built the large establishments to grow things.

The captain gathered them up once they reached the ground and though Mark couldn’t hear anything of what was being said before they would go forward, he knew the drill; don’t do anything stupid but try to save the place if possible.

Bambam nudged Mark to his side when Lauren had finished and motioned him to follow. It was safest to go with Bambam as no one else knew he couldn’t hear or speak to others without removing his helmet and that, right now, was out of the question, mostly because no one could hear him even if he took the helmet off and they didn’t have time to start playing with them.

They moved carefully closer to the fire, the flames spitting up so high they went over the treetops. It would have been ideal to use water to kill the fire but they didn't have access to huge amounts of water, the only thing close was a small pond and it was nowhere near enough. The fix needed to be something simple and something fast. Like having the contained somehow. Like smothering it. 

That was it, Mark hurried forward to catch up with Bambam. They could try to contain the fire in a forcefield so the air would burn out and the fire would be smothered.

Mark waved at Bambam who was examining the grounds.

It took a while to get him to understand what Mark was after but a few attempts on drawing with a stick on the ground he finally got the message through and Bambam gave Mark a thumbs up. He would forward the idea to the others and they would probably group back to the shuttle where they could get the transportable forcefield rods. It was a fair chance it wouldn’t work but it was worth a try. They would just need a little distance in between the rods but then the force field would be enough to cover the whole fire when it would be activated.

Mark could see Lauren speaking, pointing at the fire, pointing at the rods in the crate that had been brought down from the ship in the shuttle. She pointed at each of them, handing three pieces each and Mark could only guess what she was saying, though he figured she was ordering them to push the rods in the ground at even distances in order for the plan to work.

When the others got ready to set off, Bambam took Mark aside, pointing first at Mark and then himself and then to the direction of the fire to the east. Mark nodded. They would go cover the east side.

Mark nearly tripped on his own feet when Jackson tried to gain his attention by tapping him on the shoulder, but because the helmet was soundproof and the comm wasn't working Mark ended up jumping the side in surprise.

He saw Jackson’s mouth moving but of course he heard nothing. Jackson’s eyes narrowed and he seemed to be asking if everything was ok.

Mark knocked his helmet and shook his head. Jackson’s expression darkened and it looked like he was cursing.

 _So, now you want to talk?_ Mark snarled quietly to himself but the urgency of the situation forced him to push away his personal dilemmas with Jackson. He motioned at Bambam and himself and then to the fire and tried his best to convey they’d be fine doing their share but Jackson was being obstinate and made it very clear he would be tagging them along.

The three of them set off, Jackson heading a little to the left while Mark made sure he was still in visual range of at least Jackson or Bambam, and Bambam went further right from Mark. The other four crew members were covering the remaining sides.

Mark didn’t feel the flames but he could very well imagine what it would feel like to stand so close to the inferno blazing in front of them. The suit protected him, warded him from the heat that would have otherwise had burnt him to cinder in no time. It was almost mesmerizing to stand there on the edge of the raging fire. Maybe this was what it would be to be on the surface of a sun, to watch the bursts of liquid rock shoot high in the air?

He saw Bambam give him the signal it was time to activate the force field and Mark sprang into action; they would need to activate the rods individually within ten seconds or it wouldn’t cover the whole thing. The bigger the area, the harder it was to time the sources to align.

Mark ran as fast as he could within the limitations of the suit on him, for once not tripping on anything on the ground, and activated the first machine during the first second, counting in his head the remaining seconds he needed for the other two.

 _2.. 3.. 4.._ He got the second on the ground, the buttons blinking and flashing, and kept on running forward. 

_5.. 6.. 7.._ The third one hit the ground and Mark grinned in triumph as he saw it spring to life, the green, vibrating and see through shield expanding with the other two he had managed to activate, joining in from his left and right with the ones Jackson and Bambam were working with.

The forcefield rose higher, the flames licking the dome it created above it, forcing it to go down.

Mark looked around him and saw Bambam walking towards him both thumbs up in celebration, but when he turned to see Jackson his heart nearly stopped.

Jackson was still standing on the edge of the fire, now raging inside the green dome, but he seemed completely oblivious to the fact that the tree behind him was on fire as well and the huge trunk was falling to pieces and Jackson was standing right there, underneath its burning branches.

Mark sprinted forward. It was no use yelling. No one could hear him even if he took the helmet off and Bambam probably hadn’t seen anything because he was so far away from Mark. 

The distance seemed longer than it had felt just a few minutes ago. He could see the tree trembling, could see the way the enormous branches above Jackson were leaning down, down, down.. They were falling and Mark wasn’t there yet and Jackson hadn’t noticed anything and-

Two gigantic branches fell down right on top of Jackson, a cloud of soot and flames going up in the air in a puff of smoke, leaving Jackson buried under the mess.

 _Shit, shit shit! Don’t be dead, don’t be dead! Come on Jackson!_ Mark cursed, reaching the place of the accident, not thinking anything but getting Jackson out of the flames, not even having time to react to the fact he was scared to death to find Jackson lifeless.

Mark yanked and tore the wood, pushing the branches with all his might and finally found Jackson’s arm sticking out and grabbed it, pulling him from under the weight of the tree to safety. Mark dragged the immobile body with him as far as he could to ensure their safety and then tore his helmet off and knelt beside Jackson on the ground.

“Jackson! Are you ok?” He took Jackson by his shoulders and shook him, trying to wake him up but the face hidden inside the soot covered helmet window was showing no signs of life. “Damn!” Mark grabbed the edges of the helmet and forced it off, reaching to touch Jackson’s face. Still no reaction. Had the impact been that hard it had knocked Jackson out?

“Is he alright?” Bambam came rushing in, his helmet off as well while Mark was feeling for a pulse on Jackson’s neck.

“He is alive, I can feel the pulse, but he is unconscious,” Mark tapped Jackson’s cheeks none too gently, trying to evoke something, anything, from him. “Put out that tree, will you. It will spread otherwise.”

“And how should I do that? Blow on it?” Bambam snarked.

“I dunno, just do something! Use water if you can find any,” Mark snapped, his eyes glued on Jackson’s face. “Come on, wake up. I can’t leave you here like this.” _You can't leave me like this. Not without explaining that damn kiss of yours,_ Mark thought. Now that Jackson was hurt it all came back with a bang and Mark knew he would regret not having forced Jackson to talk when they were still safe and sound back on the Phoenix.

He needed answers. Needed to know why he felt something when he thought about it and for that, Jackson needed to be alive and well. 

But, to his misfortune Jackson didn’t wake up and by the time the rest of the crew got to them Bambam had managed to siphon water from the small pond and the tree was put out as well.

“We have to wait until the fire exhausts itself and then soak the ground to prevent it from bursting back to life again,” the captain explained, wiping sweat off her forehead. “Mark, you take Jackson back to the shuttle with Jonathan, he probably has a concussion so he needs treatment. And Mark?” she looked at him seriously. “I need to have a word with you once we all get back to the ship. In private."

“Understood,” Mark said quietly, picking Jackson up in his arms and marching off, still more worried about Jackson than of his own fate.

“Do you understand what you did?” Lauren sighed, irritated. They were back on the ship after the situation on Ciaran III had been dealt with properly and Lauren was seated behind her desk, littered with papers and tools, looking at Mark like she wanted to kick him in the head. “Do you realise you could have died?”

“I do, but I didn’t,” Mark replied, standing there like a schoolboy being scolded. At least it felt a lot like it.

“You could have died because you couldn’t hear or say anything. And you purposefully made your fellow officer go in on it with you. There could have been more injuries than just Jackson’s!”

“But, he’s fine,” Mark protested.

“He could have been absolutely fine had your communications been working because if they had, you could have warned him from afar and all this would have been avoided!”

“But-”

“No buts! Mark, I’m banning you from using the suit until we get to Haven and I demand it will be fixed by someone who knows what they are doing,” Lauren gave Mark a tired look. “Understood?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good. You’re dismissed.” she waved her hand and leaned back on her chair, spinning it around so she wasn’t looking at Mark but out of the window in her office.

Mark ended up knocking on Jackson’s door after having his ears chewed off by the always charming captain, feeling lousy and like he really needed to apologize for everything. 

“Hi,” he called from the door when it opened. “Can I come in?”

“Would I say no to you after you dug me out from under a burning tree? Gee, let me think!” Jackson pursed his lips, faking a serious moment of pondering. “Nah, I’d be an idiot if I turned you down now.”

“I’ll take that as an yes,” Mark chuckled. He took a chair from beside the desk and seated himself on it next to Jackson’s bed. “How are you feeling?”

“A bit dizzy, but it should pass,” Jackson shrugged, his back leaning against the wall. “I’ve felt worse I suppose. Did you get yelled at?"

"Maybe a little," Mark grimaced, twisting his hands resting on his lap.

"Well, I guess it was at least half deserved as you _did_ put yourself in unnecessary danger," Jackson mused.

"Hey, aren't you supposed to be crazy grateful that I was there to save you!" Mark jabbed Jackson's arm, pinching him right after.

“If it wasn't you I probably wouldn't have been standing on that specific spot at all and the tree would have fallen on the ground.." Jackson almost fell from the bed when he tried to escape Mark’s furious response.

"Fine, I will never save your sorry ass ever again." Mark huffed, a little hurt.

"Aww, don't be so salty Mark, you know you couldn't leave me in a pinch."

"Really?" Mark’s brows shot higher. "So sure of that aren't we?"

"Kind of figured you’d want me alive to tell you why I ended up kissing you,” Jackson looked down, scratching the back of his neck looking actually very apologetic.

“Wait, what?” Mark was confused, once again. Why did Jackson always make him feel so confused, it was irritating.

“You know,” Jackson wasn’t looking up but kept staring at his hands resting on the blanket. “I realised I’ve been a idiot for not clarifying myself to you. Like, big time.”

“Knock on the head helped, did it now?” Mark’s reply was so sour it would have curdled milk.

“Something like that.”

“Well?” Funny how this was almost the same when Mark had been the one being grilled for some answers. "Want to tell me why you left me hanging for this long?"

"You can be so nasty, I swear," Jackson grumbled, but did indeed launch on explaining himself. “Like I said back then, it had been something I’d been wanting to do for a while now, and by a while I mean a long time,” he sighed. “I remember you from the Academy as well, but you probably never even realised I noticed you. I mean no wonder if you hated me back then. But the thing is I, uh, I had a crush on you back then and when I saw you here and realised it was you I realised I was still kind of feeling those feelings so I wanted to try and see what it would feel like to kiss you. Sooo, I guess that's why. I'm sorry?" he ended kind of lamely. 

“You,” Mark frowned. “You had a crush on me? And you still have? What?” it all felt very surreal and he had no idea what to do with all this information. “What do you expect me to say? That I love you all of a sudden?"

“No! I mean yes if you do but I don’t know!” Jackson groaned. “Maybe that you don’t hate me?”

“Well, that’s kind of debatable at the moment-”

“Hey, be nice!” Jackson intervened, looking hurt and kicked in the head and something moved again inside Mark’s chest and he didn’t know what to do with that. "It was just one kiss, and not even a big one."

“Fine, I don’t hate you. Happy now?” Mark ended up grumbling. Sure, the kiss had been more just a little peck on the lips but still. Jackson had ran away and then didn't talk. Of course it would take a little time for Mark to feel less annoyed.

“Not exactly but I’ll take it,” Jackson sighed again. “You don’t have to worry. I can be normal. I won’t try to kiss you again. I'll be just as normal as I was before.”

Mark said nothing, just pursed his lips. For some reason he didn’t feel happy about Jackson saying that either, but he would have to wallow in his feelings for a little while before he would know what he wanted himself. Did it really do any good going on about this right now anyway? Jackson had given an explanation of sorts and it made sense in some nervous teenage way perhaps but he couldn't stay mad at Jackson for liking someone and then doing something stupid because of it.

“You should rest,” Mark finally said, his tone back to normal. “You’ve had a rough day.”

"Keep me company? Jonathan said I shouldn't be alone tonight because of the concussion." Jackson dared a kind of shy glance up at Mark from under his lashes.

"Do I have to do something?" Mark blinked, mildly taken aback for the sudden change of subject.

"Just check that I'm still breathing once in a while." Jackson wiggled down on the mattress until he was lying down. “Would be lame to die in bed like right after being rescued.”

"True, that would be very lame,” Mark looked around him. “I guess I can monitor your sleep from somewhere here.” There wasn’t much in the small space to sit on comfortably.

"You can stay here next to me," Jackson patted the mattress, smirking. "On the bed."

Mark stared at Jackson. And the bed. Then Jackson again.

"Yeah I don't think so," he drawled out slowly but his heart skipped a beat. He definitely ignored it. "Nice try."

"Just kidding, just kidding!" Jackson grinned. "At least take the armchair if you're going to stay."

"Sure. Now go to sleep dumbass." Mark chewed on his lips, sighing in defeat. Why the hell did he have to find Jackson so charming? And why did it feel somehow flattering he had been crushing on Mark all those year ago? 

He would really have to sort out this mess when he wasn't feeling so damn confused all the time. Whenever that would be.


	6. Chapter 6

_ In his arms, pressing against him, his skin so smooth and soft it felt like a pleasantly falling shower of warm water, was Jackson. It was a burning, all consuming sensation to have him here, breathe against his skin, arms wrapped around his waist to pull them as close as it was possible. _

_ “More,” Jackson’s lips were fire on Mark’s neck. “I want to touch you more.” _

_ “Stop wanting and do it then.” Mark’s breaths of air were so audible it was almost embarrassing, the cool air in his quarters making him shiver everywhere else where Jackson wasn’t touching his skin, moving in unison with him to find friction, tumbling backwards to find their way to the bed. _

_ “I love it when you are so commanding.” Jackson’s teeth raked over the shell of Mark’s ear. _

_ “Like to receive commands?” his hands were over the taut muscles on Jackson’s back, nails digging into the skin. _

_ “Only from you.” _

Mark woke up suddenly, startled, unsure what was real and what was not because it was hard to define where the lines of reality and dreams began and where they ended. He wasn’t sure if he was still half asleep and back in that heated situation, or panicking half awake because he was so aroused even after waking up from the dream.

He stared a long time into the darkness with his eyes wide open, heart thumping like he had been running, like it wanted to break free from his chest and leave him for good. It took a very long time for him to steady his breathing, to find some clarification to the situation so he could be sure he had simply been dreaming and no part of the dream had been true.

Mark sat there, on his bed, feeling confused and hot, his body thrumming with unsatisfied yearning he hadn’t thought about in a very long time.

The dream had been so vivid, so near and so intense it would take a miracle for it to fade from his mind before he would have to face Jackson again in a real life situation. That would be so awkward, so very very awkward.

How could he ever dream of something like that? 

But, Mark knew why. 

He knew why he was having these dreams and why his mind was so full of Jackson and everything he said or did, full of his laughter and his stupid jokes, his bad moods and his moments of being fragile. Mark knew why but he didn’t want to admit it to himself, much less to Jackson.

He shook his head, running both his hands through his dark mop of hair sticking up in every goddamn direction. It was just impossible to stop the images from coming back to him, stop the memory of Jackson sleeping after the fire in his bed, looking so young and innocent in his sleep, curled up on his side and hugging the blanket close to his chest.

A pang of guilt made Mark grimace in his dark solitude. 

He had done something that night. Something that still haunted him because it made him very agitated and scared, and very giddy and exhilarated at the same time.

He had kissed Jackson’s cheek right before he was about to leave the quarters to get some sleep of his own, though to be honest it hadn’t been a proper kiss. Just a brush of lips on the warm skin. But he had done it anyway.

It had been a small gesture but it felt like he had done something big, something really incriminating. Luckily Jackson had been completely out of it and would never know what had happened and Mark would take this little secret to his grave because he would  _ not _ share this with anyone. 

Not that hiding it made things any easier for him because obviously he was a loser who couldn’t sort out his feelings like normal people did. No, he had to be worse than Jackson and go and peck his cheek without him knowing it. Fantastic. What more could go wrong?

  
  


_ January 16th, 4153. Three days away from Haven _

"The replicators are broken."

And that was where they were now. Just a few days away from Haven and well earned comforts, and now their replicators decided it was time to break.

"So, I guess we have to rely on the emergency rations until we get there, right?" Brian chirped from the other side of the room but Tess shook her head vigorously.

"Remember that loud banging last night? The shields gave in when we hit that asteroid field and a few got through and made damage to the hull. So guess what? That was the storage. It's frozen solid now."

"Can't we heat the stuff?"

"Dumbass, we can't even get in there! The door is frozen too!"

Mark sighed, opting to shut out the bickering, waiting for it to eventually die out on its own.

"I'm sure we can manage with what we have up here, Haven isn't that far away." Lauren rubbed her temples with both hands, obviously not wanting to intervene with the kids fighting either.

"Do you think now would be the time to ask for a thorough check-up while we are there?" Mark asked, though his hopes were not very high. Every time there seemed to be no one around to give their ship enough attention. Which, he could technically understand because there weren’t that many mechanics to spare to begin with, but still, they did need a fully functioning ship in order to carry out the missions they were given.

Oh the bliss of bureaucracy. The endless files and signatures they sometimes needed to get even the simplest things approved.

"Well, this time they  _ have to _ do something about the ship. We can’t go back out until she is fixed." the captain looked so sour Mark was sure she would give hell to anyone who would even dare to think otherwise.

"Ok, knock it off kids. Knock it off!" Jackson intervened in the fight between Brian and Tess when it looked like they would end up physically assaulting each other instead of just yelling insults. "It's just for a few days. We'll be fine. Your training was worse than a few days of rationing food."

Mark let his eyes linger on Jackson for a while. He had slowly managed to overcome the weird feeling between them and was now able to look at Jackson without wanting to groan out of frustration even with the dreams still haunting him. And Jackson, being a man of his word, had kept his respectful distance and acted like he had before the whole confessing and kissing thing had happened.

To give Mark some credit today, he had a very good reason to look at Jackson because he had finally given in and had stopped wearing his full uniform. Mark himself hadn’t worn his full uniform in almost a year and even then it had been for a day when he visited his parents who had taken time to visit him at Haven for a few days and he had wanted to look presentable for them. 

Bambam was rarely seen in anything but the uniform pants and a t-shirt, and the rest of the crew went along the same lines, save for Mark who had swapped the pants for his own a long time ago. This way he didn't have to wash the uniform if he needed to wear it, it was simply a convenience thing. Or so he told himself.

Jackson however had had the full uniform on every day until now. Not that it had been a bad thing, quite the opposite. The pants fitted him nice and snug and the collar shirt and the button up jacket only enhanced the way Jackson was built; strong and fit. Now, after discarding the top part of the uniform, he was more relaxed and instead wore a loose olive green t-shirt that still didn’t quite hide the fact that he looked absolutely fantastic.

Mark sighed, somewhat jealous. He never managed to make a simple t-shirt look that good, at least not in his own opinion. Not to mention this real life Jackson only seemed to fuel the dream Jackson who was kept on being a frequent visitor in Mark's dreams. 

"You ok dude?" Bambam nudged Mark’s arm with his elbow. "You look sick."

"Wha- what?" Mark shook his head, the fleeting jealousy and rising warmth in his body vanishing as soon as it had appeared. "Me? I'm fine. Just tired. Didn't sleep well because I was trying to get the storage open. The temperatures might drop before we get to Haven so it might be time to dig up warmer clothes." 

"Damn," Bambam swore. "That's the third time the environmental regulators break. I take it it's going to be fucking cold if it spreads along the walls?"

"Depends if Lauren can fix the one that broke," Mark crossed his arms before him. It was getting more and more difficult to try to maintain the ship in one piece, though the brutal fact was that the ship was old and had seen better days way before Mark was even born so in a way it was no wonder she was a mess every now and then.

"Brian, since you seem to have extra energy I suggest you go dig up the crates for warm clothes for us all. Tess," Lauren gave the ensign an exasperated glare. "You can take care of the food today. The rest of you," she smiled a wry smile. "Do as you please, we are on auto-pilot for now. I'll be down on the second deck, trying to get the regulators work."

The situation didn’t exactly get worse over the next 24hours but it did get considerably colder to be anywhere, save for the bridge and the fourth level where the mess and their quarters were. Lauren had directed some of the life support to this level to keep the cold from spreading too far and luckily it gave them enough heating to be able to sleep in their own beds at least.

"One more day. Unless someone meets us halfway and brings in some help." Mark groaned, shivering. He wrinkled his nose because of the chilly air, mostly because he didn’t care for the cold that much.

"Lauren said they sent Angel III to meet us but it will take them 12hours to reach us," Jackson pulled the blanket over himself tighter, the tip of his nose turning slightly pink. "You know what we should do?"

"I'm not sharing body heat with you," Bambam said hurriedly before Jackson could continue.

"Ha ha. So funny," Jackson grimaced. "We should keep moving, you know, do something instead of staying in one place."

"Wait," Bambam looked at Jackson in disbelief. "You want to start working out? Now?"

"No, I mean yes, but not like working out for real," he waved his hands in the air under the blanket but it looked more comical than anything else. "Just keep moving to keep the blood flowing. Keeps you warm, you know?"

"He's got a point," Mark said, backing Jackson up. "It's not good to stay put too long anyway. Maybe we should go back down to help Lauren.”

Bambam snorted loudly and Jackson raised his brows, clearing his throat.

“Did you forget that she banned us from going down there because, and I’m quoting her here, ‘if you keep horsing around near me I will kick you off of the ship’,” Jackson said, rolling his eyes. “Not my fault that I’m clumsy.”

"Though, you forget Lauren banned only you and I, not Mark, from going down there but here he is, sitting by the warmth." Bambam put in, directing his gaze at Mark who gave him the middle finger.

“You’re not exactly volunteering to do anything useful up here either.”

“Well, I’m not capable of realigning wires for regulators. I can make a pasta dish but not solder stuff."

"Maybe you two should go back to Academy and take a few extra courses," Mark rolled his eyes. "You know what. I'm going to take a nap. I'm exhausted." He clambered up from the chair. “Wake me up if something happens.”

It would be nice to get some sleep, though he wasn’t too hopeful about it. He kept waking up because he was so cold, or because Jackson kept returning to his dreams to perform interesting things with Mark. Enough to cause anyone sleep deprivation after a few nights lying awake, shivering half because of the cold and half because his body wanted things Mark couldn’t give it.

Maybe things would get better once they’d get to Haven. At least there he could have a warm shower and forget he had ever met Jackson and had all these yearnings and feelings for him.

A few hours later Jackson turned up on Mark's door, waking him up.

He hadn't exactly been sleeping, more like mulling over his thoughts about Jackson and whether or not he should try asking around if there really were new positions opening on other ships. Not that he was trying to get away from Jackson, maybe just a little bit, but he wasn’t the type to flee the scene, unlike  _ some people _ did. He would have to make decisions to either take action or do nothing about finding a new position and about his situation with Jackson. But not yet.

"Want a game of cards?" Jackson stepped in from the door with a careful smile. "I brought extra blankets too."

"That's rather old-fashioned," Mark accepted a blanket gratefully, wrapping it around himself immediately and Jackson kicked off his boots and sat at the other end of the bed with the other blanket draped over his shoulders. His nose was still slightly red and it wasn’t easy to stop looking at Jackson because he looked so absolutely huggable in this semi-warm state.

"Found them lying around, thought it might help pass the time."

"Any improvement?" Mark took the deck of old cards from Jackson and shuffled them awkwardly. It had been years since he’d handled these. “Know any games?”

“Slapjack?” Jackson smirked when Mark let out a snort of laughter at the name and he took a more comfortable position across Mark on the bed. "Lauren said she tried her best but it seems there's a component that's been damaged beyond repair so we need to get to Haven to get it replaced."

"Well, the rendez-vous with Angel is in mere ten hours away, guess we can manage." Mark dealt the cards on the bed cover. “You start.”

“Tess finally stopped trying to murder Brian,” Jackson said after a minute of silence during which they just kept pulling cards in the middle, keeping an eye on the correct card to appear. “I’m sure she will kick his balls one day, that boy is a little too eager in trying to get her attention.”

“True, it’s no use trying to get someone’s attention by force. It usually happens naturally.” Mark replied, his eyes on the cards.

They kept the light, casual conversation going on, playing four or five rounds of the game, Mark won three times and Jackson sulked and groaned when he lost, pretending to leave the room at least four times. 

It felt good to hang out with Jackson like this, to be normal in his company, to feel less nervous that something would happen again that would tip the balance between them and make things weird once again.

Mark was so done with them being weird. He didn’t hate Jackson, didn’t even resent him anymore, and even with his conflicted feelings of how much exactly he liked Jackson didn’t manage to mar this peaceful moment of talking nonsense and playing cards that were a bloody relic from ancient times. Sometimes good things from the past were still just as good in the future, and besides the Phoenix wasn’t equipped with much entertainment for the crew anyway, so this was purely a win/win situation.

After being lulled into some kind of relaxed stupor by being warm and pleasantly distracted, Mark, without thinking about it at all, opened his mouth and directed a question at Jackson.

“So, Jackson? Why did you have a crush on me back then?” when Mark realised what he had just let slip from his tongue he stiffened. 

_ Way to go fucking things up! Good job Tuan, you bloody idiot, _ he berated himself, just barely managing to keep a grimace from forming on his face. He dared to glance at Jackson, it felt too awkward not to look up from the cards on the bed after being so bold as to ask such a personal question.

“Are you sure you want to talk about that?” Jackson looked at him, surprised, his eyes even more round and huge than they usually were. 

“I asked, didn’t I?” Mark replied off-handedly, though his heart had definitely picked up the pace.

“Let me think,” Jackson sat up straight and pursed his lips. Why were his lips always so bright and pink? “It was your smile.”

“My smile?” Mark didn’t remember he had been smiling that much in the Academy, not in public at least.

“Yeah,” Jackson smiled faintly. “Whenever I saw you with your group of friends you were laughing and joking with them. That was what made it for me.”

“Just me smiling?” Mark knew he was being slow, but it just felt so silly. Something so simple could evoke interest and warm feelings in other people?

“Just that. Of course you’re much more than that, I can assure you, but that was where it began,” Jackson looked at the deck of cards he had gathered into his hands. “You are a very handsome man, you do know that?”

“I’m not the ugliest, sure,” Mark scoffed, feeling flattered and maybe a little happy. “It’s not like you’re exactly ugly either.”

“You think so?” Jackson suddenly beamed up at Mark, the gigawatt effect of it hitting him straight through his heart.

“Yeah, I mean it,” Mark managed a smile, swallowing a lump that had formed in his throat. “You are very attractive.”

There was a moment of silence after Mark's words. Jackson was looking at Mark and Mark was looking back.

Had he ever realised how soft Jackson's eyes were when he was looking at him? Possibly, but he couldn't be sure. There were so many things he wasn’t sure if he had noticed about Jackson, things that made him shine like a brilliant star, the shiniest in a glimmering cluster in the dark void of space.

The distance between them on the bed seemed enormous and yet somehow it didn't. Instead it felt almost as if they were suddenly invading each other's space, the air trembling with anticipation of what would and could happen next.

Finally Mark tore his eyes away from Jackson when he started to feel too warm for his own comfort and he cleared his throat, cutting the comfortably expectant atmosphere with a knife. 

"Another round?"

"What?" Jackson blinked, coming out of his own reverie.

"Another game of cards?"

"Yeah," Jackson handed the deck from his hands to Mark and for a second their fingers touched. "Sure." It had felt like electricity passing between them and Mark swore his whole hand felt tingly hours after Jackson had gone back to his own quarters.


	7. Chapter 7

_January 19th, 4153. Haven_

When they finally reached Haven, the whole crew piled out of Angel III tired but smiling. It was good to be back among other people, see unfamiliar faces, and get some distance between the ship that was constantly breaking down and accidents that seemed to wait at every corner.

Mark didn’t bother with goodbye’s with his fellow officers, they would eventually run into each other on the station, he simply opted to go straight to the quarters he had been given and take a long shower in peace and quiet and most important of all, get warm. 

Plus, he wanted to be absolutely alone, to think in peace, and he couldn’t really do that when was in constant danger of running into Jackson everywhere he went. He needed space between them so he could go through all the thoughts and feelings bothering him.

Mark sighed. Right now, at this moment, he was sure of one thing, and that was that he didn’t hate Jackson. The rest of the matters circling in his mind were probably unresolved because he didn’t want to address them even though he might have already known they were true.

It had never bothered him that he was being, in a way, pursued by a man. That wasn’t an issue at all as Mark had, in his youth, kissed a fair number of boys, and besides homophobia was a thing from the past, something to read about from the history books.

The issue was more the fact that it had to be _Jackson_ who had gotten under his skin and had caused this itch that never went away. And if Mark wanted the itch to go away he had a hunch that it would probably, unfortunately, have to be scratched by the one and only commander Wang.

That was the part Mark wasn’t particularly enthusiastic about. He didn’t know if this was something that might evolve into something long term, or was this going to be something that might satisfy their needs for a few weeks. And it was so bothersome to try to get to the point where it was comfortable to allow someone to touch him, or to get himself to a comfortable point for him to touch someone else. Flings and one night stands didn’t fit into his character so Mark had simply not done anything about his needs or to the romantic side of life.

He didn’t even remember the last time he had wanted someone so much he would simply disregard everything he thought was true for his nature.

And now he was having a budding feeling towards someone he had first spent resenting almost half his life? Fantastic. There was no way this would end well, he just knew it.

Mark shoveled the food into his mouth in his quiet quarters, furiously trying to think what he should do next about Jackson, even though it was quite obvious despite all his arguments and whining, and decided he couldn’t fix this mess in his head while sober. He should get drunk. Like properly pissed. 

It was his time off and he was as free as a bird to do whatever he wanted, and the best place to throw your life out of the airlock was the bar in the heart of Haven’s bazaar section. The bartender was an old man who had outrageous stories which always ended him hinting he had been a renegade and a space pirate in his youth which Mark kind of could believe. Enough alcohol in his system and he would believe the old man was an all powerful entity from the Cael Nebulae.

It all went fine and Mark was pleasantly wasted after a few hours of venting his problems to Reed, it had mostly been about the ship and the suits but when he sat by the bar and found a familiar mop of dark hair and nice, sturdy shoulders in one corner, Mark’s complaints changed.

“Reed, do you know who that is? Do you?”

“No,” Reed replied, glancing at the direction where Mark’s slightly unsteady finger was pointing. “But I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”

“That,” Mark slurred, fixing his eyes back on Reed behind the counter. “Is Jackson Wang. Jackson fucking Wang and I can’t stand him.”

“Really? And why is that?”

“Yeah,” Mark smiled widely. “He got under my skin, you know? I can’t kind of decide whether I want to kick him out of the ship or jump his bones. I just get all worked up and he’s like always in my way no matter what I do and he saved me when I crashed the stupid planet -fucking suits, they never work anyway- and then he kissed me! Can you believe it! He bloody well kissed me and then ran away but then confessed he’s liked me since Academy days, and I was like, whoah, that was a long time ago dude, and I’ve saved his sorry ass when there was a fire and I’m not sure if that was a good thing but probably it was,” he ended his little rant by chugging down his beverage in one gulp and belched. “He just _really gets_ under my skin, like so easily it’s not even funny.”

“I see,” Reed mused, pouring Mark a glass of water instead, which Mark didn’t notice because he was so fixed on complaining about Jackson. “But it doesn’t really sound like you can’t stand him.”  
“What’s that you say?” Mark took a swig of the water. “What does it sound like then?”

“Sounds more like you like him. Like him quite a lot if I’m honest.” Reed was definitely smirking at the horrified expression on Mark’s face now.

“Hey. Don’t say that. I do not,” Mark waved a finger in the air. “I repeat, I do _not_ like him!” Or did he? It was hard to tell.

“Sure. Whatever you say Markie boy.” Reed chuckled, going off to serve other customers leaning against the counter.

What was Jackson doing in the bar anyway, Mark turned around on his stool to stare at Jackson.

_Damn you for being so attractive._

_Did I just call him attractive? Fuck it. Fine, he is. And I said that to him already. Many people are. Totally. He’s just a little more than most._

_But who is he talking to?_

_And why am I drinking water?_

Mark’s bleary eyes focused on Jackson who was facing the opposite direction from Mark, talking to a small woman in a black uniform with no distinct markings to indicate her rank or position, but her face was small and round and beautiful and her hair was so glossy and long and Mark really felt like it was too much to have one person looking so good. 

_She’s pretty. Damn that. I’m pretty. Wait, would handsome be a better word? But still, I’m not that ugly, right?_

_Why is she looking at Jackson so intensely? I don’t like that._

_Why don’t I like that? I don’t care who Jackson sleeps with, or whatever. Everyone’s free to fuck around as they please if they aren’t like committed to one person, or something._

_Does he sleep with her? Fuck._

_Am I jealous?_

_No._

_Aren’t I?_

The woman had left while Mark was having his internal, and rather slow, conversation with himself and soon he found himself facing Jackson from only a meter away.

“Having fun, Mark?” Jackson flashed a smile at Mark and Mark, being already quite drunk and worked up leaned on the counter and stared at Jackson with squinted eyes.

“Pretty girl. You sleeping with her?” he managed to say without sounding too drunk. Or did he sound drunk? Was he really that drunk?

Jackson stared at Mark without a word but his eyes were wide and it looked a little like he wanted to say something else but ended up saying-

“Maybe you’ve had enough to drink.”

“Oh nooo,” Mark giggled. That was definitely the drinks talking, he didn’t go giggling under normal situations. “I’m fine. Just fiiine. Reed can give me another one.”

“I think you should go to bed instead.” Jackson stated, mildly worried.

“You can carry me then. Pretend I’m that pretty lady and carry me away, my unwilling hero!”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Jackson groaned, rolling his eyes. “I didn’t expect you to be like this when drunk. You’re so calm and collected normally.”

“Yaaaahhh, Jacksonn~” Mark pouted. “Would you like to kiss me now, try it again, eh? Pretty sure you’d wanna do that, because you know I’m way better than that woman, honest, I am.”

“Come on, time to head for bed,” Jackson scooped Mark up from the stool, manoeuvring Mark’s arm around his shoulders and pulling Mark close by his waist. “Where are your quarters?”

“Left wing, 18th floor, I think it’s the number 626,” Mark smiled. “Are you going to tuck me in, commander?” 

The journey to the elevators was along and wobbly one. Jackson tried his best and Mark was having a rather boring monologue about everything he saw and smelled, including comments like, why did Jackson smell so nice, and, why was it that he never smelled bad.

Mark did, to some extent, regain some of his senses when the elevator began to climb higher. He was still leaning against Jackson, mostly because his legs didn’t seem to support his weight if was left to stand on his own.

“Do you want to fuck me?” Mark scrunched up his face, looking up at Jackson and his sharp jawline.

“What?” Jackson’s face went from blank to startled and it made Mark chuckle.

“You do, don’t you? You _like_ me,” Mark hummed, smirking drunkenly which probably wasn’t as tempting a sight as he thought it might be.

“Mark, you’re drunk,” Jackon tried to push Mark away but Mark was holding him close so tight it didn’t work, and Jackson probably wasn’t trying too hard. 

“So? I just asked you a question. Didn’t expect you to do it right here and now.” Mark was biting on his lower lip, eyeing Jackson from this close distance and feeling more lightheaded than what being drunk made him feel.

“I-” Jackson tried to say something but words seemed to escape him.

“You like me. Just admit it.” Mark pressed, not even sure why he was doing so. It just dawned on him that if Jackson said it then he might say it too.

“Because you’re drunk. You wouldn’t talk like this sober.”

“Maybe I would.”

“No, you wouldn’t!”

“Stop telling me what I would or wouldn’t do! You’re so infuriating!” Mark snapped, losing his patience. “You don’t find me attractive anymore, is that it?” he tried to push Jackson away from him but Jackson kept his arms securely around Mark, refusing to let go. “You go on kissing me out of the blue and then go back to acting like it never happened so obviously you think I’m not good enough for you!”

“I-” Jackson stammered. “It’s not that.”

“What is it then?”

“You’re drunk. This is not a conversation to have when the other party is completely wasted.” Jackson grimaced, his handsome face darkening.

“But if I wasn’t?” somehow seeing Jackson looking like that made Mark feel a lot less drunk for a split second and he felt like floating above the floor. “Would you talk to me about this if I wasn’t drunk?”

“Yes. Then we could talk again.” Jackson dared a quick glance at Mark who melted into a lopsided grin.

“Promise?” Mark reached out with one hand, his mood going from irritation to softness in a blink of an eye, hooking one finger on Jackson’s collar and pulled him closer. “Promise we talk?” Mark’s breath was lingering on Jackson’s face and he could hear the shaky intake of air, saw the nervous way Jackson licked his lips.

“Promise,” Jackson whispered weakly. Their lips were close enough to be touching but there was enough distance for a kiss not to happen but the tension in the air was palpable. There was the unmistakable electricity between them, the chemistry that Mark now was emotionally ready to acknowledge. They breathed the same air, felt time slowing down, the seconds dragging by in slow motion, everything focusing on this moment, this very moment that made the blood flow and the body heat up, heart rate going wild.

Mark was the first to move away, his eyes half closed, sleepiness pushing the intoxicated state aside.

“Good,” he muttered, his head lolling to rest on Jackson’s shoulder, the charged moment between them vanishing into thin air. “Take me home. I want to sleep.”

Jackson said nothing. He picked Mark up in his arms when they reached the 18th floor and silently carried Mark all the way to his quarters, and even, without Mark realising it because he was barely awake in the end, tucked Mark in bed and then left as silently as he had come in.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is near! Two more chapters and then the story will be done. I do hope you enjoy reading this ^^

_ January 20th, 4153. Haven _

Mark woke up with a terrible, pounding headache. He curled up in his bed and tried to squint into the darkness of the bedroom, last night’s memories unmistakably missing from his hazy mind. His head felt like there was something wrapped tightly around it, squeezing him so hard it was nothing but pain with every breath he took, not to mention what it felt like trying to open his eyes when they seemed to be glued shut and felt like trying to pry open a jar of sticky goo.

It took a while to sort out the fragmented images lazily going about in his head, but eventually Mark managed to focus on a few of them and start figuring out what it all meant.

Apparently he’d had another crazy dream about Jackson, and it had been very distracting. In the dream he had been asking Jackson if he wanted to fuck Mark and telling him he still obviously liked Mark and he should just kiss him again and Jackson had been so uncomfortable but had carried Mark back to his bed like the drunken idiot Mark was and-

_ Shit. _

Mark inhaled sharply when the rest of the memories came crashing back to him.

“Oh, no.” he groaned into the silent room and kicked the blanket a few times, which probably wasn’t the brightest idea because he was instantly nauseated when he made any sharp or sudden moves.

He had actually done that? Said those things? It hadn’t been a dream? Oh, no. Oh, hell no.

_ What have I done? _

This was bad. This was really bad. How could he ever show his face outside these walls again? And those things he had said.. Jackson probably was now the one with resentment and hate and it would all be directed at Mark and his idiotic way of behaving himself, which had been incredibly improper and not only because Jackson was his superior officer but because it had been so insulting as well.

There was no way he could keep on lying about how he felt about Jackson to anyone after the show he had put up last night, especially not to himself. Because that’s what he had been doing; lying to himself. He had known for a while now he had warm feelings towards Jackson, but had refused to admit anything, not even to himself. He had known he wanted to spend more time with Jackson, but why should he have admitted that either? That would have been madness, right? 

But now the time for lies was over. He was going to have to face the truth that had come out of his own mouth.

Well. Kind of. He had never said out loud he liked Jackson, but it was pretty obvious, right? Who could take it the wrong way if you drunkenly flirted with them, though Mark wasn’t sure if he had exactly been flirting because it might have been just pure stupidity, and told them you were better to kiss than some random lady they had been talking to? 

What a glorious mess he had managed to get himself into.

Slowly, carefully, Mark opened his eyes and turned the lights on despite never wanting to surface from his dark hole of despair, also known as the bed, and got out to go groan and feel miserable in the shower instead.

He felt mortified and he had no one else to blame but himself. Had he been a reasonable human being prior to all this, last night might have never happened and Jackson might still be inclined to want to be his friend, if nothing else.

The cold water on his skin felt wonderful and some of Mark’s hangover went down the drain but not enough for him to feel like he could muster enough courage to send an apology to Jackson. That would have to wait until Mark regained a little bit more of his lost self-esteem back.

“ _ You have one new message. _ ” the monotone voice of the computer informed Mark when he leaned over it to see if anything of importance he needed to know had appeared, a glass of water clutched in one hand, his hair dripping water all over his bare shoulders and back.

“Display message.” Mark sat down, staring with bleary eyes at the screen, not trusting his legs yet enough to support him. Like they hadn’t supported him last night and Jackson had been forced to carry Mark back to his quarters and-

The message came into view on the screen and Mark nearly choked on his water.

“ _ Good morning, Mark. _

_ I’m sure you’re not feeling very good after last night so be sure to drink lots of fluids today. Maybe a good idea to eat something too but definitely drink a lot. But no more alcohol, you’ve had enough for sure.  _

_ I just wanted to ask if you would go out with me tomorrow? Just the two of us. It doesn't have to be a date, but it can be, if you want it to be.  _

_ So, tomorrow at 1200 hours, the holosuite 2? _

_ Jackson” _

This.. This was unexpected. Mark let the screen go dark again and returned to bed on his unsteady legs. He crawled under the blanket and pulled it all the way over his head. The darkness felt so blissful and soothing, but his heart was thumping and bouncing like a ping pong ball.

So, Jackson didn’t hate him. A small miracle on its own, but to ask him out? On a date? This Mark had never in a million years been expecting. No way. He had expected to be ridiculed and mocked, and most definitely to be seen in a negative light, but this? It had never occurred to him Jackson might have taken last night’s events as an encouragement.

But then again, thinking back on what had occurred last night in the elevator, and in the bar, maybe it wasn’t exactly surprising Jackson would ask him out. Maybe it had been exactly what Jackson had needed in order to muster up the courage to see if there would be something worthwhile to explore between them.

He would have to give his answer soon and right now Mark didn’t know if he wanted to grin or grimace and his head was hurting and he probably should sleep some more before even thinking about what he was going to tell Jackson.

Mark groaned into his pillow and swore he would never drink again.

_ January 21st, 4153. Haven _

“You’re looking a lot more like yourself,” Jackson made a dry comment when Mark walked up the corridor to meet him. Mark winced, the whole annoyingly clear memory from the other night causing him nothing but embarrassment. 

“I’m sorry for everything I said and did,” he grimaced. “I shouldn’t have lost my control like that.”

“It’s fine. I’ve seen worse,” Jackson made a dismissive gesture and smiled. “I kind of wish I could have seen you in your best drinking times though. You must have been the life of the party.”

“That’s another thing I don’t want to dwell in,” Mark smiled hesitantly, a faint flutter in the pit of his stomach. “So, what are we doing here?”

Yesterday, after sleeping for a few more healing hours, Mark had made up his mind to agree on Jackson’s request to go out together. It seemed stupid not to say yes now that he was admitting himself he  _ was _ interested in Jackson as more than just a friend, and thus, ever since sending off his reply, he’d been feeling more and more nervous about it and had been imagining all sorts of situations in his head, all ending in various states of disaster.

“You’ll see,” Jackson tapped the controls next to the door. “Run program 16 B.”

What was inside was nothing Mark had expected, because to be honest, he didn’t know if he had really been expecting anything at all. Or, at least if he had, it certainly wasn’t even close to what was waiting for them inside the holosuite. 

“Climbing?” Mark commented curiously when they walked into the room that was, by Jackson’s design, a simple room with high walls with colourful pegs and steps, and gears waiting for them. No one else was there but the two of them, but just the mere sight of having something interesting to do had Mark smiling a wide, genuine smile. At least doing something active would keep them from having to stare at each other in embarrassment.

“Thought you’d feel pretty weird if it was some romantic walk on the beach. Which I can totally arrange if you want to change.” Jackson chuckled lightly from behind Mark.

“No, no,” Mark hurried to assure Jackson, his ears turning a little red. “Let’s just stick with this.” he made a beeline to the gear waiting for them on the nearby bench, trying to forget what he had just envisioned when Jackson mentioned romantic walks on the beach. Those thoughts were not welcome in his head, not yet at least. There was still a long way to go before he would feel comfortable thinking such stuff.

“Good,” Jackson followed him. “We can try bouldering too. I’ve never done it but my brother was a fan when he was younger and I went often to watch him for fun.”

“Let’s see if we can manage this first.” Mark eyed the harness he was supposed to strap on himself. It was supposedly easy but it looked like a fine mess to his inexperienced eyes. “Do you know how to put this on?”

“Yeah, I had the computer give me a tutorial before you came,” Jackson picked the gear Mark was holding and straightened it. “You put your legs from here and here,” he pointed and Mark did as he was told. “And then we attach this here and this here and tighten the belts and, voilà! You are done!” Jackson finished helping Mark. Mark could feel how tight the harness was right under his buttocks and knew it must bring out the shape of his ass, but Jackson remained a gentleman and said nothing, just got geared up himself and led them to the first wall to try.

The climbing felt good once Mark got the hang of it. Jackson seemed more afraid of wanting to climb all the up, which was slightly surprising considering he jumped from spaceships into space with no wires attached to him. Mark did mention this and Jackson only replied that it had to do with the fact that they had gravity here and no gravity in space, hence his fears. 

Mark in return told him he was being stupid and he should just go for it. Jackson gave him the finger and a grin and climbed steadily higher, his jaw set and gaze focused on what he was doing.

"So, about the other night," Mark started slowly when he was halfway up and felt almost normal enough to talk about it. "I really am sorry for my behaviour."

"Like I said," Jackson grunted, pulling himself still higher on his wall. "It's fine. I’m not offended, though I accept the apology." He was silent until he got to the highest point, grinning at Mark in triumph for daring to go up there. "But did you mean it? About," he hesitated. "You know, about wanting to talk about those things while sober."

Mark didn't reply at first. He climbed up as high as he could, feeling the sweet burn on his arms and legs and tried not to look at Jackson holding onto the small crimps with his arm muscles flexing under the tight t-shirt.

"I did." It was a surprise to notice it didn’t feel as bad to admit it out loud as he had thought it would. On the contrary he felt almost liberated, like suddenly there was nothing he couldn’t say. 

Jackson let himself fall, bouncing his feet off the wall as he went down back to the ground and Mark followed him in total silence, clutching to his safety wire a little harder than he had before. His heart was racing and it had nothing to with the thrill off coming down the wall. 

"So," Jackson cleared his throat when they freed themselves from the wires and moved to another set to climb up. "Then this is a date." Mark hadn’t specified that part in his reply so it was expected that Jackson would bring it up.

"I guess," Mark could feel his ears burning again. "I mean, yes, it is." And even though he did feel a whole lot braver than, say, a few minutes before, it was still quite awkward to look directly at Jackson.

“It feels a little odd, doesn’t it.” Jackson noted after Mark had been furiously battling with himself for a while. He looked up when Jackson spoke, surprised.

“What does?”

“This,” Jackson made a vague gesture with one hand. “Us. On a  _ date _ . It feels odd. Like suddenly I don’t know how to be with you anymore, which is absolute bullshit since we’ve been hanging out a lot and that was never weird before. Well, maybe for you in the beginning since you hated my guts with passion, if I recall correctly.”

“Come on, let it go already,” Mark snorted, feeling a lot less abnormal. At least he wasn’t alone in feeling a bit off. "But it does feel weird not to know how to be around you."

"Maybe we shouldn’t think so hard about the fact that this is a date," Jackson pondered, looking up at the wall. “It tends to change how people react to the situation.”

"I suppose so," Mark rubbed his cheek with one hand. “Though it feels odd to say it’s a date but then not think about it as one.”

"Then what do you suggest we call it?"

"I-" Mark started but had to clear his throat. "I guess, it’s weird because we started as something really different. Then we went to friends and now we’re supposed to be on date? It’s a lot to process in a short amount of time.” he sighed. “It takes time to get used to, that’s what I’m trying to say.” He took a deep breath and looked Jackson straight in the eyes. It was now or never. He would have to say it. "I like you. Despite everything I’ve said in the past I like you, and yes I want this to be a date even if it seems so weird now." Jackson stared at him with his mouth slightly open. It looked rather adorable so Mark stepped closer to Jackson and ruffled his hair. "You never answered me by the way.”

“I didn’t?” Jackson blinked.

“Do you still like me?"

Dumbfounded, Jackson started to turn a delightful shade of red.

"Are you stupid?" He whispered. "Of course I do! Do you think that if I didn’t I would have carried you to your bed and asked you out?"

“Probably not,” Mark laughed. “But you know, have to be sure since it’s been hard to tell what to think until now.” He didn’t even know how this change in him had happened but suddenly he felt anything but awkward with Jackson, felt like he could tease him all day long and simply enjoy watching him go on ranting about anything at all. It was like some wall had come down inside him and he was free of his own restrictions.

“Yes, well,” Jackson huffed. “It’s been a journey for us both, what can I say. But we’re here now so..” he didn’t finish the sentence, merely his cheeks turned redder.

Mark didn’t reply but he felt the same little anticipation he had felt before stepping into this room, that same little electric and warm flutter but it was now growing in his stomach, turning bigger and more prominent. Maybe there could be something more to look forward to.

“Can we go out tomorrow as well?” Jackson asked softly when they exited the holosuite and the door closed silently after them.

“Again? Aren’t you tired of my company already?” Mark joked, brushing off his hair from his eyes with one hand. He allowed himself a moment of simply taking in how Jackson looked in his black, comfortable clothes, cheeks a little flushed from all the climbing they had managed to do. He looked fantastic and seeing him biting his lips like that while smiling made Mark’s heart skip a beat.

“I think I could handle a little more of you,” Jackson laughed. “So, are you free?”

“Sure, I doubt I have anything to do until the Phoenix is ready to depart again.”Mark agreed smoothly, already wanting to grin from ear to ear. It was so amazing how far he had come in a few hours. Just this morning he hadn’t been sure if he could look Jackson in the eye and now he was planning to go out with him again. Truly a dramatic turn of events, but that was just how things seemed to happen when he was with Jackson.

“Awesome,” Jackson beamed at Mark as they walked down the corridor towards the elevators. “Let’s meet by the 30th floor west elevators at 1500hours?”

“Alright, I’ll be there.”


	9. Chapter 9

_January 22nd, 4153. Haven_

When people talked about Haven in these parts, it was with affection. The station was big and it offered a resting place for those who chose to stay there and it served as a meeting point to officers. It was conveniently placed in the galaxy for scientists to have a field day while observing the surrounding planets and stars and the main attraction of Haven was definitely its top floor observatory. It was beneficial for everyone, the design of it allowing it to be used for scientific reasons as well as for others to watch the galaxy, have a quiet conversation or, like in today's case with Mark and Jackson, have a date.

Mark of course had known this would be a lot different day than what yesterday had been. Whereas yesterday had been bright and full of activities, today they would have the dim observatory around them, the setting from the get go romantic in nature even if you weren't on a date.

Mark had been nervous about this ever since they parted ways yesterday by the elevator and yes, fine, he had spent a huge amount of time trying to find something decent to wear for tonight. But as he didn't own much to begin with, he had marched to the bazaar and had bought a new black shirt that was plain enough not to attract too much attention but different enough from what he usually wore, or at least what Jackson was used to seeing him in, which was track paints and big warm shirts, or the space suit naturally.

He had chosen a light, turtleneck shirt and it hugged his body so tight it was like second skin without feeling suffocating, and to go along with it, a pair of slim fit pants, all in black of course. He had parted his hair and it was pushed back enough that it didn't look like he had spent hours on it, but in a careful, carefree style that made his face look more appealing. Or so he hoped.

"You look amazing," Jackson stopped a few feet away from Mark when he stepped out of the elevator and found Mark waiting for him already. "I mean _really_ amazing."

Mark wanted to say something like _oh, this old thing_ , but managed to keep the lame joke at bay. Today probably wasn’t a good day to sound like an idiot.

"You're not looking bad either," Mark smiled a little, coy smile he hadn’t known he was capable of. Jackson did look really good. He had a white collar shirt on and well fitted black suit pants and Mark just _knew_ his ass was looking fantastic. Not that he would be looking. Much.

“Oh, this old thing?” Jackson grinned and Mark almost choked. 

“I was just about to say the same thing,” he had to laugh out loud, he was so relieved to find Jackson to be as dumb as he felt, in a good way.

“Really?” Jackson was chuckling. “Two minds think alike, or something?”

“Or something.” Mark gave a small cheeky wink to Jackson who in return bit on his lower lip and cleared his throat.

“Shall we?” Jackson inclined his head towards the entrance leading to the top floor.

Maybe it was to create a more satisfying experience, maybe for some other more mundane reason, but to reach the top level they had to climb circling stairs made of brass and dark wood with elaborate rails on each side until they reached the last step and the beautiful dim room opened before their eyes.

The person who had designed Haven had understood the station would never be used merely for scientific purposes. They had understood it would serve as a place where permanent homes were built, a place where new generations were born. A place where officers and travelers could find a moment of ease and happiness on their heavy journeys through space, and the observatory certainly provided a welcome, peaceful distraction from routines.

The top floor was open, covered with a huge transparent dome that allowed anyone standing under it to spectate the wonders of the silent galaxy around them. People came all over to watch the star clusters and count the many moons circling the planet some thousand lightyears away, to see what miracles they could find if they looked into the big telescopes open for everyone to look into.

The room was strategically decorated with a few vines growing in pots, or ferns brought from Ciaran II to keep the decor from looking too bleak. There were soft armchairs and sofas, comfortable deck chairs and even huge pillowy bags where you could slouch and relax while watching the station slowly rotating around.

Jackson led them near the edge of the big dome, his eyes glued to the stars blinking far far away from them. Mark stood next to him, silently appreciating the view. It was breathtaking even though he had himself been out there countless times, right in the middle of all that beauty, but it still was so different when it was viewed from the safety of the station. 

“Have you ever met any other races out there?” Mark asked quietly, almost whispering. The observatory wasn’t the kind of place you wanted to shout or talk too loudly at. It felt like a serene catacomb, or maybe a buried library from forgotten years.

“No, not personally,” Jackson answered as quietly as Mark had spoken, his voice low and always had that raspy note to it which Mark found, especially today, highly attractive. “But I’ve spoken to others who have.”

“And?”

“Well,” Jackson chuckled. “Other races out there, somewhere,” he pointed out into space. “They just don’t care about humans. Apparently we aren’t interesting enough.” 

“That’s kind of sad,” Mark sighed. He never thought about it much, but it was always a possibility they would encounter other species while trekking in the wild wild space and exploring new planets. “All I’ve ever seen have been the different animals and creatures. One planet, I think it was Mael IV, had these weird sentient plants that got pretty nasty if anyone tried to touch them.”

“Oh, I heard about that,” Jackson brightened up and Mark looked at him in surprise. “I hear stuff when I’m back at the headquarters.”

Mark nodded, but didn’t say anything. He wondered, from time to time, what exactly was Jackson’s part in the Alliance. He seemed like a normal and respectable commander with no other agenda, but Mark did wonder, though he didn’t know what it was he was trying to pinpoint, if there was something that he didn’t know. Though, it probably was nothing, and he usually shrugged it off easily.

"It feels different today," Jackson said, staring out into the darkness spreading around them. "To be here with you."

Mark nodded again. He felt it as well, the shift in the way they stood next to each other, the way they stole little glances and then hid away the smile when caught in the act. They were still the same but everything was different and it felt nice and exciting, not weird or awkward at all.

Maybe it was because of what Jackson had just said, maybe it was some other reason, but Mark reached out slowly, hesitating perhaps for a moment, but then decided to let go of any remaining hesitation he had and just did what he wanted.

He took Jackson's hand in his and laced their fingers, trying to be as nonchalant about it as he could, like it was an everyday thing they did and not the first time.

"I know what you mean." Mark said quietly, looking at Jackson who glanced at their clasped hands before looking up and into Mark's eyes.

The radiant smile he gave to Mark caused him to have a short moment of breathing problems.

Just standing there, hand in hand, made everything feel ten thousand times more surreal and at the same time so real it almost hurt. He was a mixture of wonder and happiness and this newfound childish glee that was like a baby bird flying for the first time.

Was this how couples felt when they started to fall for each other?

Even if there had been other people around them, Mark was sure he no longer was conscious of anything else besides the humming silence of the room and Jackson, standing next to him like a gorgeous carved statue that had come to life. It felt unrealistic just how easy it was to fall into this softer, more romantic situation but Mark welcomed it, embracing the feelings that came with it with open arms.

He almost laughed at himself, realising how very, _very_ far he had come when it came to his feelings. Almost insane to think he could have ever resented, even _hated_ , Jackson. What a delightful change this was, and it was all probably going to get a lot better than it was now, on the first steps of their new private adventure meant only for the two of them.

“The constellations look so different from here,” Mark said after they sat down side by side on the sofa nearby, still holding hands like two teeangers happy to have what small physical contact there was to have. Jackson was so warm next to him, the frame of him tough yet comforting. “It’s beautiful.”

“Yeah, you are.” Jackson said almost dreamily and when Mark turned his head and he caught Jackson slapping his free hand over his mouth, looking horrified by what he had just said and turning as red as the blooming roses back in Mark’s mothers garden did during the warm season. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”

“No,” Mark felt himself smiling, his heart suddenly starting to dance wildly around in his chest and he squeezed the hand clasped in his. “Don’t be. I don’t think anyone’s ever called me beautiful before.”

“You don’t mind?” Jackson removed his hand from his mouth. His eyes seemed to reflect the blinking stars, like two dark mirrors.

“I don’t,” Mark licked his lips quickly, not sure if he should do something. “I,” he had to clear his throat gently before he could continue. “I find you just as beautiful.” There, he’d said something tacky and now he could feel the heat creeping up _his_ neck and up _his_ ears and cheeks, but Jackson smiled like the sun had come out.

It was easy, to fall for someone like Jackson, Mark mused quietly as they sat there in peace, talking quietly, enjoying the closeness and stupid jokes, feeling the intimate and daring thoughts growing stronger and more prominent with each meaningful word hidden between the lines, each brush of thighs together. It was easy to like his dark, quiet laughter, his seriousness and his childlike happiness. It was so very easy to find him attractive, alluring, and Mark found himself more than once having to think about sad things to keep himself from getting too hot and bothered.

"I doubt I've ever had so much trouble than I did yesterday trying to impress you by going all the way up that wall," Jackson was laughing quietly, playing with Mark's hand with both of his own now. "I wanted to look so cool."

"You were cool, you always are, don't even try to deny it," Mark snorted. "But I congratulate you on conquering your fears."

“Did you perhaps steal a glance or two of me in that harness?” Jackson brought Mark's hand up to his mouth and gently brushed his lips over the knuckles. An electric sensation ran through Mark and he swallowed hard, eyes fixed on what Jackson was doing.

“It was rather tight, so it was pretty hard not to look.” his words were stuck in his throat, the sight in front of his eyes causing him to short circuit rather badly and he felt suddenly very warm again. _Very_ warm.

“And did you like what you saw?” Jackson’s voice was basically dripping honey at this point and Mark was quite sure he knew exactly what he was doing.

“Definitely,” Mark's answer was so quiet it was barely audible. "Stop doing that." He tried weakly to pull his hand away but Jackson didn’t let go.

"This?" Jackson pressed his lips on Mark’s palm. "Why should I?" A small, coy glance up towards Mark and Mark bit on his lip, his pulse rising.

"Because I can't control myself if you continue."

"Do you really have a reason to control yourself?"

Mark could think of nothing, not a single real reason, his entire focus was now on what he felt, everything else was discarded, overruled, and the culprit was right here in front of him and he definitely was going to feel the consequences for igniting the fire.

"Does this answer you?" Mark turned his body more sideways, pulling his hand free from Jackson’s gentle grip. He reached instead up to cradle one side of Jackson's face and he leaned in deliberately slowly until their lips met in the middle and time was no longer important. The only thing important was the kiss and the softness of lips touching, searching, learning the way the other moved. 

It was soft and crazy and it felt so good, everything it hadn’t been the first time Jackson’s lips had touched his. Kissing him was like falling into darkness, warm and wet and it took his breath away the deeper they delved, the closer they got, hands searching better places to touch, daring to venture further over the clothes.

Jackson was holding Mark’s waist, the touch almost painfully hard but it didn’t feel bad and as the kiss continued to get deeper, the body temperatures rising, the nimble fingers slipped lower, almost hesitantly touching the hem of Mark’s shirt. 

Mark broke the kiss suddenly when Jackson’s fingertips brushed gently the bare skin on his hip and he reached down to grip the hand, pulling it away from him.

For a moment Jackson looked into his eyes alarmed, but Mark kissed the lips once more to reassure him everything was alright.

“Not here,” he whispered, lips wet and still touching Jackson’s. It was hard to restrain himself from kissing Jackson more because everything about him was so intoxicating. “Come, let’s go somewhere else.”

When the door to Mark's quarters slid shut Mark felt drunk on everything that had happened. 

They had walked like two normal people would walk down the corridors, stood in the elevators, murmured apologies for bumping into others when they didn't watch their step, and now they were finally here, behind the closed doors and everything was available for them.

"Want something to drink?" Mark asked when they had kicked off their shoes but before he could move anywhere he was being spun around to face Jackson who looked at him like he was at his limit.

"No, but I want this," Jackson said, the raspy low tone of his voice the right tune for Mark, and kissed him. He kissed so hard they fell backwards, Mark’s back hitting the wall and from that point on there was nothing but lips and tongue, wet and hot and hands trying to grab everything and everywhere at once.

Now they didn’t have to stop, didn’t have to think how much noise they would make, didn’t have to worry that someone would see them in the midst of this whirlwind of passion.

Jackson was fire and pleasure, his hands gripping Mark so hard there might be bruising later but there was no time to waste on such thought, the regret, if it would come, would be for much much later time, and this time Mark didn’t stop Jackson when he found the hem of his shirt again; it rolled up almost on its own, the warm skin under the fabric begging to be touched.

They pulled their shirts off one after the other, Jackson first, and then stood there face to face for a good, long while just touching the bare skin of the other, feeling the small hills and valleys from collarbone to the hip and back up again, enjoying the sensations the traveling fingertips caused.

Jackson gathered Mark in his arms suddenly and held him close, his chest smooth against Mark's.

"I can't believe I finally have you in my embrace," he kissed Mark’s shoulder gently. "It feels so surreal."

Not wanting to blurt out anything that would ruin the moment, Mark remained quiet, allowing himself a moment to sink against Jackson, feel the arms around him and hold Jackson back in return. It was safe and hot there, the smell of skin and arousal prominent in the air and he felt so lightheaded and on the verge of bursting out he took advantage of the moment and flipped them around so he could pin Jackson against the wall instead. He leaned in to kiss Jackson soft but eager, his hands going down to grab Jackson's ass.

Who needed words anyway?

He was burning and he knew Jackson was burning as well so he didn't even bother trying to be careful when he felt his way to the front of Jackson’s pants; the zipper ripped and the button went flying when he got his hands on them.

"Almost sorry," Mark managed a half-assed apology before getting on his knees and taking Jackson's pants down to his ankles with him.

Jackson lasted perhaps five minutes before he came hard, his legs trembling and eyes shut tight while leaning against the wall. His hands were balled up in Mark’s hair and his breathing was shallow, but he was grinning, the expression going from one ear to the other when he finally opened his eyes and looked at Mark.

“You’re incredible.” Was all Jackson could manage, his voice shaky.

"We are not done yet." Mark stood up from the floor and pulled Jackson with him to his bedroom, pushing him on the covers almost violently but Jackson didn't seem to mind. He crawled in the middle of the bed and watched with hungry eyes while Mark stripped his remaining layers of clothing off and didn't waste a moment to go back to Jackson's embrace once he was stark naked.

"My turn," Jackson's growl only added fuel to the flame when he climbed over Mark's legs and bent down to kiss and bite his way downward.

It felt even better than he remembered. It had been years since he had done this, had sex or had been intimate with another person, and now that he was here with Jackson, he didn’t know how the hell he had been able to go without for all those years. Jackson gave him the pleasure he had been craving for, gave him a reason to close his eyes even when he just wanted to watch himself being blown, and finally came so hard he couldn’t keep the guttural groan from escaping his lips. 

Jackson gathered Mark back into his embrace again and they rested on the bed together in silence, listening to the slowly calming heartbeats, the lingering aftermath burning and bubbling inside them both. It was glorious to bask in this feeling of being cherished, pleasured and held but soon the fingers started to dance on the skin again, the lips found their pair and sooner than it was expected the flames of desire were burning bright again and they rolled on the bed in a tangled mess of arms and legs, laughing and gasping, finding all the places that made them weak in the knees.

They rested when they felt tired, ate when they got hungry and took a shower together, though that only turned into another moment of orgasming into each other's hands under the falling water, kissing until their lips were sore and bruised from all the beautiful abuse.

"Do you want to," Mark asked when they were back in bed, kissing with trembling lips each other after yet another orgasm, the burning feeling deep inside him mostly satisfied but not completely. "Go all the way?"

Jackson sighed in obvious bliss, kissing Mark so tenderly it made stars sparkle behind his closed eyes.

"I think," a second content sigh when Mark moved to the side to nuzzle his face against Jackson's cheek. "I think we should wait. Not that I don't want to,” he hurried to explain when Mark pulled away to be able to look into his eyes. “And I’m honestly surprised I have managed to come so many times in one day. I just want to wait a little longer. If that’s ok with you?" there was worry in the big round eyes when Jackson looked at Mark, searching for any sign that he might have offended Mark by saying they should wait.

"Then we will wait." Mark's answer was simple. Of course he was ready to go further, that’s why he had asked, but in reality his body was so sated it was a miracle he still wanted to do more. “I really am not offended.” He clarified himself when Jackson continued looking so worried.

"Can I just hold you close?" Jackson asked softly, his tone almost sorrowful and it made Mark’s heart sink with emotions. “I don’t want to let you go.”

"Of course," Mark smiled, pressing a slow, soft kiss on his lips. "We don't have to go anywhere."

The burning flames burnt themselves out, the mellow and serene atmosphere surrounding them as they drifted to half-asleep, waking up every now and then to say something endearing until sleep took them over and they slept together, spooning in the middle of the bed, Jackson’s face pressed against the back of Mark’s neck and his arm tight around Mark’s waist like he never wanted to be separate ever again. 

When Mark woke up the next morning he was alone in bed. He was sore and bruised but he didn’t mind it; yesterday had been so good. He got up and searched the rooms but Jackson wasn’t there, but on the table before the computer screen on the wall, was a handwritten note.

_I received urgent news and I had to leave. I'm really sorry. I don't know when I'll be back._

_Please, don't hate me. I didn’t mean to leave like this. You mean so much to me._

_Actually yours,_

_Jackson_

_Ps. You look so beautiful when you sleep._

_Pp. I’m so sorry._

Mark read the note a few more times with mixed feels.

On one hand he was flattered he had received a sort of a love letter, but on the other hand Mark was pissed off as hell.

What did Jackson mean by leaving? Had he left the station, or had he just gone back to his own quarters? No, the note definitely indicated he was off the station and he was not coming back anytime soon.

“Computer, locate commander Jackson Wang.” Mark grit his teeth together, barking the command to the computer.

“ _Commander Wang is not on Haven._ ” 

So he had left the station.

_Fucking great._

Fury rose inside Mark. How did Jackson _dare_ to do this to him? Just a note after last night? After the dates and all the courting and acting like he cared about Mark? What kind of sick joke was this? What the devil could be so important he had to leave in the middle of the night?

“Computer,” Mark said again, anger still rising inside him. “Run a search on commander Jackson Wang. List every report and life event on record about him.”

" _Request denied. Please enter level one access code._ "

"What the fuck!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dearie me. Another cliffhanger? Right before the last chapter?  
> Like Mark said; almost sorry :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter! Hopefully you have enjoyed Void as much as I did while writing it.
> 
> Please, don't forget to leave a comment~ I love to read them all!
> 
> Thank you for reading <3
> 
> (Also, ps. you can find me on twitter rambling about my writings @cffn163 if you want to be more posted about the current statuses.)

_ July 26th, 4153. Deep space _

“Bambam! We’re going to be late if you don’t hurry up!” Mark banged hard on Bambam’s door. “Not my fault if Lauren chews your head off. Just hurry up!” he left the door, cursing quietly. Bambam was probably asleep after the long shift at the helm. Brian and Tess were both down with fever so the rest of the crew had to split duties while the young ones recovered.

Mark stared at his reflection from the shuttlebay window while waiting for Bambam to arrive. He was still as pale as he had been six months ago, still tired and still very much in need of an extended vacation. The only difference was perhaps his overgrown hair and the pain sometimes visible in his eyes. He tried his best to hide it from everyone else onboard, but he had a nagging feeling everyone knew something was off and it had something, or a lot, to do with Jackson not being with them anymore.

Life had become the same as it had been before their peculiarly disappeared commander had come to be a part of their crew. The days were the same, the missions the same, even the people around him were the same. There had been no replacement for Jackson but Mark had received his promotion to commander after waiting for it for so long. Funny thing was that he didn’t care. He hadn’t cared much before, but now he was really indifferent to his good fortune. Not that he wasn’t grateful, it wasn’t that. He was good at what he did and he knew he deserved the title, it was just the timing that made him feel less elated than he probably would have been under normal circumstances.

Mark knew he was sullen on most days, and even though he tried to hide it by taking part in the crews jests and games, he was still, deep down inside, extremely mad and hurt by what had happened.

Six months ago when he had woken up alone in his bed and had only found the note from Jackson, he had been furious. He had been ready to kick down doors and people if that would only get his hands on Jackson so he could get some answers but then, after the computer denied access for him to find out more about Jackson, his current location and his past, Mark had marched straight to his captain and had, to put it nicely, demanded that she would tell him what the hell was going on.

Lauren, being the gentle but stern type of a person, had merely given him a  _ look _ , sighed and asked if Mark could wait for a little bit longer for answers.

Puzzled but still angry Mark had tried to argue that Lauren ought to give him answers  _ right now _ but it had been useless. Lauren could not be persuaded, she was impervious to pleas, threads and shouting, and because she  _ was _ his captain Mark had had to opt to remain impatiently patient for a while longer. Not that he had enjoyed it. The questions kept him awake at night and finally he had visited the holodeck to vent his anger on a brutal boxing program where he came out a few hours later his nose and lip bleeding, one wrist twisted and bruised all over.

Good for stress relief, but not much good for anything else.

Three days later he had been promoted. He received the rank of a commander and after the mandatory procedures Lauren had sat Mark down in her quarters and told him in strict confidence things that made it maybe little easier for him to understand some aspects about Jackson.

"I can tell you this now that you are my second in command, and you are to keep this to yourself until it has been cleared by the higher ups, is that understood?" she had the face of someone who wanted this matter to be dealt with as fast as it was possible.

"Of course." Mark nodded, frowning. What on earth could be so big it had to be concealed like this?

"I meant to give my recommendation for your promotion a long time ago but then the command to take Jackson as my first officer reached me and my hands were tied until now. He was never supposed to stay long, that much I knew from the beginning, but of course I wasn't at liberty to tell you that. To the rest of you he was a permanent addition to our crew."

"Then what was the reason he was sent here?" Mark just wanted the truth. He wanted it so bad it hurt. He needed something to explain the pain away, that there had been some good reason for him to be so badly wounded in the heart and that he could go on in life and forget he had ever pressed his mouth against Jackson’s soft lips.

"I haven't been told all the reasons behind it but I do know he was here to observe the planet's we visited. From what I can understand, Jackson was, is, a part of a group of selected officers who are placed separately on ships like the Phoenix to gather information. What the information is being used for, that I don't know."

Mark let this sink in before he continued asking more questions.

Gathering information? About the planets they searched? What could be so special about these things in the first place? Sure, all the planets they found suitable for harvesting and planting crops were important, but it was common knowledge what they did there.

Mark glanced up at Lauren again.

"Do you know why he had to depart so suddenly?"

"No,” she tapped her fingers on the desk between them. “But did I see admiral Liu here so I might hazard a guess she had something to do with Jackson’s sudden departure."

"Admiral Liu?" The name didn’t ring any bells for him but of course she had to be an important officer if Lauren spoke of her like this.

"Yes, admiral Liu Weilin. A short, stern woman with long dark hair. Probably close to my age but it’s hard to tell."

Mark had to think hard for a while why this person sounded familiar to him, and then it hit him. 

At the bar, talking to Jackson on the night when Mark was wasted and acting like an idiot. The night when Jackson had carried Mark back to his bed and tucked him in like the rescuing knight he was.

So that woman had been an admiral. No wonder Jackson had been appalled when Mark suggested he was sleeping with her. But whatever it had been, what she had told Jackson that night, it was still a mystery though now it dawned on Mark that she might have given Jackson new orders, or maybe a new mission that would require him to leave whenever called. 

So, the question was; had Jackson already then known he would be leaving soon? Had he known and still had decided to play with Mark's feelings? If so, he was more than an asshole Mark wanted to beat into a pulp.

"Mark! Watch out!" Bambam shouted, yanking Mark away from causing a stocked pile of crates to fall down on the floor. “You’re daydreaming again, aren’t you?”

“Not exactly,” Mark replied, trying to see if the crates were secure or did they need rearranging. He touched one of them and gave it a little push but nothing happened. Maybe a good idea to leave them as they were. “Just thinking about.. stuff.”

“Jackson, maybe?” Bambam gave Mark a significant glance from under his silvery purple fringe. He was shrewd and observative, which was sometimes unnerving.

“Maybe.” Mark tensed, turning his eyes away from Bambam. He hadn’t told Bambam about what had happened between him and Jackson, but Bambam wasn’t an idiot and usually guessed correctly even if he didn’t mention anything about his suspicions out loud.

“Man, I miss having him around,” Bambam muttered, checking his suit was working. Obviously he knew  _ something _ but didn’t want to ask directly. He probably waited for Mark to talk about it first, and if that was the case, he would have to wait a very long time. “You haven’t heard anything about him, or from him?”

“No,” Mark grunted, a sour taste in his mouth every time he had to talk about Jackson. “Absolutely nothing.”

“So weird. He was so nice and all. I mean I remember the time when we tied all of Brian’s socks together and it took like two hours for him to open the knots because they were so tight,” Bambam laughed mercilessly, obviously enjoying his memories

“Can we just go. We have a timetable to keep, don’t we?” Mark’s mouth was a thin line, much like he had had when Jackson had come onboard all those months ago to disturb Mark’s life.

“Stingy,” Bambam gave Mark a curious glance, like he knew he had hit a nerve, but turned to the airlock anyway. “Let’s rock!”

Aeria, the planet they were visiting today was, at least on the day side of it, a gloomy place. The heavy dark grey clouds were hanging low but the air was sweet and fragrant from all the flora growing from the ground. It was a fertile little planet, and it provided excellent farming ground for the most exotic fruits and vegetables. It was also one of the planets there actually was a permanent base for people to live and have the opportunity to take care of the agriculture. 

The base set on Aeria, or the village more like, was the reason why Phoenix was stopping by there at all. Normally they skipped the planets with residents but they had been asked to deliver medical supplies to the people living there. Earlier Lauren and Jonathan had loaded the shuttle and gone down to do the delivery and Mark and Bambam weren’t supposed to go down at all. But it turned out there was some need to check the sea side of the little village, to see if the security was functioning properly, so the two of them made the jump and landed on the planet unharmed and ready to be of help.

An hour or two later after making sure everything was working fine Mark took off his helmet for no real reason at all, perhaps because he wanted to inhale slowly the damp air that smelled like quickly approaching rain. He knew he would have to get back to the ship soon, as the other’s had already departed, but something held him back.

Maybe it was the ache inside him that made him put down the helmet from his hands and walk to the edge of the cliff facing the stormy ocean of black water. 

The wind whipped his hair and he could smell salt in the air as the wind carried the water from the waves to him standing so high above the dark abyss. He looked ahead, towards the grey curtain of rain sweeping the ocean surface, his heart rejoicing in the pure melancholy of the scenery.

The rain washed over him in mere minutes and Mark let it happen. He allowed the water to fall from his armour, wash away the dirt and grime. His hair was soon dripping with droplets, the water running over his upturned face like rivers of tears he had never shed.

It felt like he was being washed clean of emotions, bathed in the shivering coolness of the wind and rain, leaving nothing but an empty page for him to write a new beginning for himself. He could feel how he was one small, the tiniest there was, step closer to forgetting, letting go of the pain and hurt he carried with him wherever he went.

When he turned away from the glorious sight in front of him, searching for his helmet because without it he couldn’t return to the ship, Mark felt the loose pebbles under his boots unbalance him and he tried to find something to grab a hold of but there was nothing on the barren cliff, nothing he could so suddenly find to save him from what happened next.

Mark slipped, fell over the edge and felt himself falling, hitting protruding rocks on his way down. He tried to shield his head that was uncovered with his hands and hoped for the best.

_ Not again _ , was the thought that crossed his mind as he fell, but to his luck, if it could be described as such, his way down was cut moderately short when he landed on a bigger ledge in the middle of the wall leading to the jagged beach that might have been his demise had he ever reached it.

Mark breathed a few times slowly, feeling his body. He was intact, luckily, only a scratch on his forehead, and though it was bleeding profusely, it didn’t feel too deep. 

"Well. This is nice. Just so fucking nice." Mark muttered darkly, propping himself to sit against a rock, looking around him. There was no shelter he could take from the rain but it was the least of his problems. 

He tapped the comm screen on his arm and it flashed blue light to indicate it was still working, which was good because he could use it to send out a distress signal. How fast anyone would notice it was another matter, but at least the request for help was there now. He would just have to be patient and endure the circumstances.

Mark glanced up at the rough wall, considering his chances if he should try and climb it, but decided against the idea as the rain made everything slippery. It probably wasn't a good idea to try his luck any more than he already had. It was better to sit right here and Bambam to get him.

A wry smile formed on Mark’s face. Bambam would probably die of laughter when he found Mark once again in distress on some random planet. He already had marked Mark as someone who was incredibly prone to accidents and this fall off a cliff would only fuel the younger ones jokes.

Out of nowhere, just quite randomly, Mark realised how much he missed Jackson. He missed the general air of hard-working attitude, the pranks and the jokes, the high pitched laughter. He could admit this now when no one was there to spy on him if he broke down because admitting it made his guts feel like they were torn open and filled with molten led that weighed him down. It was a moment of salty ocean tears, throbbing longing and a very tiny smidgen of happiness that came from the fact that he had at least experienced something so wonderful, even if it now made him hurt so much.

He would heal fully, of course, but it would take time. No matter how short their time together had been it hadn't been wholly without meaning.

It did come as a surprise to Mark how much he had actually cared about Jackson. His feelings seemed to have run deeper than he had expected and that was probably why he was still in such pain.

Never had he expected to find himself in this situation, never. To be both sad and angry and a little wistful at the same time. It was a very confusing mixture of feelings and Mark really wished he could at least get rid of one of these emotions. 

Feeling all these things was absolutely draining, that’s what it was.

A soft electrical whirring sound caught Mark's ear and he looked up to see someone suited up from head to toe to land carefully towards him. 

"Finally," Mark clambered up awkwardly, waving a hand in greeting, presuming it was Bambam. "Took you long eno-" he started but the rest of his sentence got caught in his throat.

"Hello, Mark."

Definitely  _ not _ Bambam who was here to pick him up.

"You." It came out as a shock at first but then the shock subsided and anger flared up like someone had set his brains on fire. "What the hell are you doing here?!"

Jackson stood there in his suit and he looked like he had been slapped in the face with a hammer.

_ Actually _ , Mark thought suddenly.  _ That isn’t a bad idea. _

He didn't even stop to think more of his actions but he approached Jackson so fast Jackson had no time to react before Mark had already punched him in the face. It was the only soft spot visible, otherwise Jackson would have received a lot more than just one punch.

"Good to see you too," Jackson spat blood out, grimacing from the pain. "Can you please calm down so I can explain myself?"

"No, I can’t," Mark snapped, furious. "I have nothing to say to you. Give me my helmet. I can get back to the ship on my own."

“I won't give it to you," Jackson held onto the helmet in his arms tight, evading Mark's attempt to grasp it. "Not before you listen to me!" 

Mark's answer was another punch.

Jackson's lip was now bleeding but still he refused to back down.

"Can you  _ please _ calm down?"

"You deserve every bit of this." Mark replied angrily, swinging a third one in but this time Jackson ducked and instead kicked Mark in the middle of his suit.

It was a very precise kick and it did knock the air out of him but the suit protected him from any actual harm.

“Why are you here Jackson?” Mark asked, coughing and leaning his back against the rock wall, still winded after the blow. He was tired of having to deal with Jackson being here when all he could have done, was to stay away and let Mark heal his wounds in peace. All the earlier feelings of maybe being able to let go of his pain were gone with the wind and Mark felt just as offended and hurt as he had six months ago.

“Because I wanted to find you.” Jackson’s reply was so incredibly simple, like it explained everything. Mark let out a derisive snort.

“Yeah, right,” he grimaced. “Because  _ I mean so much to you _ ,” To quote the hasty letter, which was still securely folded and stored in his files, only made everything seem somehow worse. “As if I ever meant anything to you.”

“But you do!” Jackson raised his voice, pacing on the slippery surface. “I left without a word, save for that message I barely had time to write, and when I dropped by Haven on my way here, they told me you never picked up the other message I left you.”

“What other message?” Mark squinted at Jackson in disbelief. “There was no  _ other message _ . I got no notice to pick up anything and we remained on Haven for another two weeks after you so gallantly ran away.”

“So I heard,” Jackson muttered darkly. 

“You could have sent me a subspace message anytime,” this was a clear and justified accusation and Jackson winced.

“I had orders not to contact anyone. And when I finally was allowed to send out messages, we were so far away it wouldn’t have reached you in months.”

“Then why is it that you are here now to tell me all this?”

“Because we finished the mission. It’s all now in a bigger process and I can talk about it.” Jackson looked at Mark with pleas written all over his face. “I wanted to find you and apologize for everything. I never meant to leave like that.”

“Well?” Mark was getting annoyed for having to ask the same question all the time. “Just tell me the reason already!”

Jackson looked at him, rain falling over his head, his hair stuck on his forehead. It was so surreal to see him standing there. He wasn’t real, Mark thought, Jackson was just a hallucination and he was yelling at it because he couldn’t do it in real life..

But, it wasn’t a hallucination. Jackson was here and he tried to speak without causing either of them to fall off the ledge that wasn’t exactly big enough for them to have more fist fights.

“Earth II is, was, on the brink of evacuation.”   
“What?” Mark had to shake his head. Surely he had heard wrong. “What the-”

“Hear me out, that’s just where it all began.” Jackson made an impatient motion with his hands, cutting Mark off. “So there’s still a very high risk of everything going down the drain and the Alliance is worried, but they didn’t want to cause a whole damn commotion so myself and a few other officers who were on Exodus were given a mission to find something, anything, that might save the planet.”

“You’re telling me, you’ve been on a secret mission to save the planet most humans live on?” Mark had a hard time believing this. “Can’t be true. Someone would have noticed the planet is dying a long time ago.” 

“They have, but it’s not precisely dying. It’s just very hard to live there and because humans are a pretty hopeful race, people just try to live their lives and do the best they can.”

“But it’s true then, that there’s something really bad going on?” 

“Well, it’s not on the brink of destruction yet, but it’s not a good situation. It’s the long seasons that cause the problems. The cold is too long and the warm is too long and hot.” Jackson sighed, trying to wipe the rain from his face. “But, I had to leave Haven so quickly because one of my team got hurt really badly and I was sent there to replace him. And my departure also coincided with the news that my father had taken ill and I was rushed back home first and then straight to the other side of the quadrant. And then we found something!” Jackson looked up and his eyes were shining and he smiled and a huge pang of longing and hope and hurt stabbed Mark’s heart.

“You found something?” it was hard to say anything, the pang of emotions had knocked the air out of him.

“It’s some kind of mineral, I don’t have the specifics, but it’s this self-heating soil that apparently stores the heat from the sun. It was on this really far away planet, it takes about two months to travel there on warp 7, but it’s there and they are now organizing bigger ships to go collect the sand so it can be used for our benefit on Earth II. It’s incredible! People can now keep their houses, the greenhouses, the land, everything, warm during the cold and the soil can be reheated in summer by just letting it soak in the sun. It's not a burden to the ecosystem either so it's really perfect."

Mark honestly didn’t know what to say.

He was hurt on a personal level that sort of prevented him from accepting this incredibly tall tale of saving their home planet, but then, he would be a real fucking asshole if this  _ was _ true and he didn’t didn’t believe a word of what Jackson had just told him.

“I’m having a hard time believing you.” 

"Look, just come back up to the ship with me and you can read the reports and news yourself." Jackson bent down and picked up Mark’s helmet from where it fell after Mark had punched him the second time. “Here.” he handed it back to Mark who took it cautiously.

Should he believe Jackson? It had dented his trust in Jackson extremely badly when Jackson had simply vanished, but there was something about him that made Mark want to trust him no matter what he had done.

But he wasn’t going to be so easily distracted by pretty pleading brown eyes.

“I’ll come up, but I’m not saying I forgive you for leaving me like you did. That was some grade A bullshit and you know it.” Mark took the offered helmet and shook the rain out of it before cramming it over his head. He didn’t wait to see the hurt expression on Jackson’s face, nor did he see the guilt and pain so very clear in his eyes.

When Mark got back to Phoenix he marched straight to the nearest computer terminal without even taking off the armour on him. He was reading fast and not too carefully, but he got the gist fairly quickly.

So, Jackson hadn’t been telling lies down on the planet. The reports Mark was seeing now had obviously been published not too long ago, possibly not more than a few hours before he left the ship, and all the reports were thanking the team Jackson was a part of, the general mood being more hopeful than expecting the end of the world to fall upon the human race.

“Now do you believe me?” Jackson’s voice was quiet in the otherwise empty shuttle bay. 

Mark turned, biting his lip. What should he do now? Fling his arms around Jackson and tell him he had missed seeing him?

No way he could do such a thing.

“Congratulations on saving the planet,” Mark ended up saying, his tone still fairly cold. “But you fucked it up with me royally and I haven't forgotten that.”

“Mark,” Jackson took one step towards Mark but Mark backed away immediately so Jackson stopped. He looked extremely torn. “I’m sorry. I had no choice but to leave.”

“You could have woken me up,” Mark hissed, his anger bubbling just underneath his patience that was wearing thin. “You could have woken me up and told me instead because it would have been a big fucking difference if you had.”

“I know, I messed up, ok?” Jackson looked like he was going kneel in front of Mark if he didn’t soon forgive him. “I’m so sorry. I am! Please, just.. Give me a chance to prove myself to you.”

“Prove yourself?” Mark’s brows shot higher and he scoffed, but his heart was aching and the ache was so bad he wanted to punch and kick things, preferably Jackson, until it wouldn't hurt like this anymore.

“I just want to be worthy of your trust again.”

“I don’t think that’s possible,” Mark shook his head, his wet hair sticking on his skin. “Not right now at least.”

“But there’s still a chance?” and suddenly there was a small glimmer of hope in Jackson’s eyes. Just a small, fragile little glimmer, but it was there and Mark saw it as clear as a dawning day.

He hesitated before saying anything. Could he forgive Jackson his actions? Or was Jackson always going to be a thorn at his side?

“Maybe one day. Right now it hurts too much.”

“That’s more than I deserve, I guess.” Jackson straightened his back. “I won't bother you more then.” He turned around to face the airlock again and Mark frowned.

“What, you’re leaving again?” Why this was a shock to him, he didn’t know. There had to be another ship that had brought Jackson here after all, but somehow Mark had thought Jackson would be staying on the Phoenix again.

“I’m not here to stay,” Jackson’s words were soft, sorrowful. “Congratulations on your promotion commander Tuan, you have earned it.”

“Where are you going then?”

“I have been offered a place on another ship so I’ll be going there. I only came here to find you because I wanted to explain and apologize to you in person.” Jackson turned his head towards Mark and he smiled gently. “I did mean it when I said you mean a lot to me.”

Mark was speechless. What could he say? He had so many mixed feelings right now he had no idea which one to handle first. 

“I will wait for you.” Jackson whispered quietly before he placed the helmet over his head, checked if the seals were holding and then he was off. Jackson had jumped out and Mark could only see his retreating back reaching the second ship not far from Phoenix and then disappearing from sight.

_ I will wait for you _ rang in Mark’s ears a long time after the two ships were already lightyears away from each other.

Mark stared out of the ship windows, the dull pain of his heart confusing him. What would happen next? Was there a way for him to forgive Jackson, and if he did, would they ever meet each other again to see if things between them were still the same as they had been the night before Jackson disappeared from his life?

Sighing, Mark made up his mind.

Only time would tell. He would deal with what was to come when it did and until then there was no reason for him to be worried. He had his family, his friends and his responsibilities to take care of, scars and pains would eventually all heal anyway, and after that? 

Well. That was where the adventures were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued.
> 
> :D


End file.
